I always loved to cook. I always took joy in cleaning and doing chores. I eagerly learnt how to sew and knit from my mother long time ago. I love make up, dresses, shoes, bags and anything to do with fashion. Taking care of my husband gives me an immense pleasure. Putting clean, fresh clothes in cupboards fulfills my senses. Staying at home, taking care of my son is a blessing that I am forever thankful for. So in other words: I am a horrible feminist and I am proud of it!
Yes, I am educated, and aware that we are in the 21st century. I realize that in a way I am no different than my mother or grandmother, and this doesn’t bother me, because I know I also spend a lot of time reading, writing, taking courses, listening to podcasts, and doing lots of early morning Taichi and Qigong. I work hard to expend my creativity and productivity, and cooking or cleaning does no harm to this process! To me being a great wife, mother, daughter, and friend, goes hand in hand with being a feminist! I am strong enough to be building the next generation on great values and raising my kids to be kind, smart, and to become productive members in their community. I am strong enough to hold my family together and make sure everyone is fed, dressed, and well rested! I am strong enough to witness the blossoming of the girl/woman in me. I am strong enough to not want to be equal to a man! Yes, you read it correctly! I am not equal to a man! I admit it and I actually enjoy it! I gave birth to a soon-to be man, whom I hope to be a great one just like his father. My mother gave birth to two amazing sons who grew up to be successful, smart and very kind men! We are half of the population and we give birth to the other half, so do the math! Can we ever be equal? And why should it matter anyway?? I never do anything without taking my husband’s advice, does that make me any less of a woman? I don’t think so! He is my other half and I trust him and his wise judgment. He does the same too, does it make him any less of a man? Of course not! I am also aware that there are tasks that I can’t perform so I leave them to him, and I am so grateful that he is always happy to help. I would probably go crazy if on top of all the things I have to do, I had to change the light bulbs, or take my car for the annual service, or any of the other MANLY tasks. In our household we both believe that some things are meant to be done by men and others by women, and it works amazingly!
Pink is not my favorite color, but I have no problem with girls/women who like pink, or take tons of selfies, or never leave the house without make-up and heals, or go for manicures and pedicures every other day. I am one of them, and to me they are enjoying themselves, they are being feminine, and enjoying their FEMINISM!
Why do we always link feminism to men? Or to being the worst version of ourselves? Why destroy the beautiful image that our mothers and grandmothers built through out the years? Why can’t we enjoy being who we are; it most definitely doesn’t stop us from being smart, educated, wise, strong, ……. etc.
My grandmother asked for a divorce when she was 25, in a time when this wasn’t acceptable in her community. She did so because her husband wanted to take a second wife. She took the pressure and all the hardships that followed her decision with an open heart. She went through it all, while cooking for her daughters, cleaning her house, sewing clothes for her kids…. etc. So you see, you can be a great feminist while still being feminine. The two go in parallel together. You don’t have to drop your feminine side to be a feminist, you don’t have to stop shaving or start showing up naked, or fight with everyone who says breastfeeding is too much nudity! You can be exactly who you are, who you were destined to be, a pretty girl (and when I say pretty I don’t mean the face, but also the mind!).
So yes, I am a proud horrible feminist, and I intend to be this way for the rest of my life.