I Am A Horrible Feminist And Proud Of IT

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I always loved to cook. I always took joy in cleaning and doing chores. I eagerly learnt how to sew and knit from my mother long time ago. I love make up, dresses, shoes, bags and anything to do with fashion. Taking care of my husband gives me an immense pleasure. Putting clean, fresh clothes in cupboards fulfills my senses. Staying at home, taking care of my son is a blessing that I am forever thankful for. So in other words: I am a horrible feminist and I am proud of it!

 

Yes, I am educated, and aware that we are in the 21st century. I realize that in a way I am no different than my mother or grandmother, and this doesn’t bother me, because I know I also spend a lot  of time reading, writing, taking courses, listening to podcasts, and doing lots of early morning Taichi and Qigong. I work hard to expend my creativity and productivity, and cooking or cleaning does no harm to this process! To me being a great wife, mother, daughter, and friend, goes hand in hand with being a feminist! I am strong enough to be building the next generation on great values and raising my kids to be kind, smart, and to become productive members in their community. I am strong enough to hold my family together and make sure everyone is fed, dressed, and well rested! I am strong enough to witness the blossoming of the girl/woman in me. I am strong enough to not want to be equal to a man! Yes, you read it correctly! I am not equal to a man! I admit it and I actually enjoy it! I gave birth to a soon-to be man, whom I hope to be a great one just like his father. My mother gave birth to two amazing sons who grew up to be successful, smart and very kind men! We are half of the population and we give birth to the other half, so do the math! Can we ever be equal? And why should it matter anyway?? I never do anything without taking my husband’s advice, does that make me any less of a woman? I don’t think so! He is my other half and I trust him and his wise judgment. He does the same too, does it make him any less of a man? Of course not! I am also aware that there are tasks that I can’t perform so I leave them to him, and I am so grateful that he is always happy to help. I would probably go crazy if on top of all the things I have to do, I had to change the light bulbs, or take my car for the annual service, or any of the other MANLY tasks. In our household we both believe that some things are meant to be done by men and others by women, and it works amazingly!

 

Pink is not my favorite color, but I have no problem with girls/women who like pink, or take tons of selfies, or never leave the house without make-up and heals, or go for manicures and pedicures every other day. I am one of them, and to me they are enjoying themselves, they are being feminine, and enjoying their FEMINISM!

 

Why do we always link feminism to men? Or to being the worst version of ourselves? Why destroy the beautiful image that our mothers and grandmothers built through out the years? Why can’t we enjoy being who we are; it most definitely doesn’t stop us from being smart, educated, wise, strong, ……. etc.

 

My grandmother asked for a divorce when she was 25,  in a time when this wasn’t acceptable in her community. She did so because her husband wanted to take a second wife. She took the pressure and all the hardships that followed her decision with an open heart. She went through it all, while cooking for her daughters, cleaning her house, sewing clothes for her kids…. etc. So you see, you can be a great feminist while still being feminine. The two go in parallel together. You don’t have to drop your feminine side to be a feminist, you don’t have to stop shaving or start showing up naked, or fight with everyone who says breastfeeding is too much nudity! You can be exactly who you are, who you were destined to be, a pretty girl (and when I say pretty I don’t mean the face, but also the mind!).

 

So yes, I am a proud horrible feminist, and I intend to be this way for the rest of my life.

 

Ouiam

 

A Date Night, Unlike others!!

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When I got pregnant, almost two years ago, it was the most amazing thing ever! We were so excited and over the moon to bring a tiny human being to the world. I wanted my pregnancy to be calm quiet and Zen, my mornings and evenings were filled with Taichi classes and Qigong ( a form of Chinese Meditation). I stopped drinking Tea and coffee, water was enough for me. I would go for long walks and listen to a lot of relaxation music ( Margot Reisinger, Steven Halpern… Etc), i went to hypnobirthing classes and read tons of books about the subject. We slowed down with our lives and chose to focus on things that mattered to us then. We still went out for dinners and lunches but not as often as we once did. Then when finally Adam arrived! Our focus shifted and our priorities changed! We were both very committed to bringing up this child in the most loving caring and nurturing home. We were both so busy being parents, or to be exact, figuring out how to be parents, that we hardly had time to do anything alone without Adam. We both were aware of this, but there was not much we could do, really, between feeding Adam, putting him to sleep, playing with him, taking him for walks, bathing him… Etc. we really had no time for us.

The first couple of months were really hectic, but then with days passing by, we learned more about this little bundle of joy in our arms, and we were getting better at this parenting thing. Still, we couldn’t leave Adam with anyone to go for dates (we kind of have separation anxiety when it comes to this little peanut), Yet, I thought we could have our dates here at the coziness of our home! I always loved making : food/ Tables/ buffets, look pretty. I enjoy decorating plates and tables and I thought why not make use of this gift and get us the dates we were both longing for, without having to leave our home or our baby.

So today I will share some of my ideas to make a date at home as fabulous as the one you’ll have in a fancy 5 stars restaurant. As the picture below shows,  you will need very basic and simple things such as:

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  • A pillow cover : to cover the back of the chair and add a touch of glam to it
  • Few printed pictures that I used as menus (i wrote at the back of the pictures)
  • Plenty of candles (really cheap and you can find them anywhere)
  • Rose petals
  • Few ribbons ( whenever I unwrap gifts I keep the decoration and the ribbons for occasions like these)
  • Food ( you can get a takeout or cook a simple easy dish, check my Thank God It’s Friday posts)
  • Some cool music
  • Get dressed and put some makeup on.

And that’s it!! You can enjoy your date night at home, with the monitor beside you, just in case the little one decides to join the party lol.

Here below, you can check some other ideas from lunches/dinners that I have had at home with guests. You can use the tips for your next date night!

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I speak for myself, but I am positive so many parents would agree with me. Once you have a baby, your marriage becomes vulnerable, and if you do not go the extra mile to reinforce it, only you will suffer! I do realize that it is extremely hard to keep a hand over everything, but we can always try! Work harder as husband and wife to make this union stronger and healthier. And date nights are just a simple way of doing it!

Hope you have enjoyed today’s post and liked my ideas! Talk soon xx

Ouiam

Who We Marry?

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Who we marry? Do we really know? How can we know? We make this decision based on what we knew, what we saw and what we felt, based on the past, however, we all change, grow, evolve and only the future can tell, can show us who we married!

Marriage is far more than few pictures on Instagram or Facebook, with smiles, hugs and kisses. It is far from the fairytales and novels. Yes!! Who wouldn’t want to only share their beautiful moments, after all we all love to shine and sparkle and sprinkle our happy bits and pieces. To me, marriage is way more than that! Marriage is a journey that begins with a decision you and your partner take, then transforms into this roller-coaster ride, with ups and downs, milestones and hiccups. And it is really your call to make it an enjoyable, meaningful and long lasting one. Life is full of challenges and hardships, and your partner is the person whom will accompany you through them all. It is crazy and very hard to comprehend that once you are married, you kind of become one person yet you can never be one! You are two different people, with different everything really. Most people get married because they are trapped in this beautiful labyrinth of love and passion, which is the most amazing thing. However, with the years, when you have seen it all, when the newness goes away and life gets harder, you are left with each other. Your partner is the person who will hold your hand and give you a shoulder to cry on when you need it. It is the person who knows all your weirdness and not only accepts it but understands it. It is the person who has seen your good, bad and ugly and still loves you unconditionally. It is the person you want to grow older with, the person you want to share the parenthood journey with, the person you want your children to resemble to, the person who appreciates you and knows your limits, the person you want to lose people with and grieve with, the person you want to grow closer to rather than apart.

I was very blessed and lucky to find this person, the person who gets me, who accepts me the way I am, who makes me see the little things, who makes me slow down and enjoy the nows. Who makes me ME! And I am so grateful that a decision I took in my very early twenties, will be a gift for my thirties, forties and so on.

When you move on from being just a couple to being parents and you see your partner as a father to your children, to the pieces of your soul and heart, when you see how much he loves them and cares for them. You then have seen it all! You then have it all ! When I see my husband with my son, my heart bursts from happiness and love. It is a new kind of love. A love that only this person can give me. A love that defines me, that empowers me, that makes me the woman and the mother I am today.

Marriage is a union that makes you whole; not always pink and flowery yet always strong and powerful. Marriage is a bunch of every days, of little details, of things that are so tiny but so big at the same time.

Ouiam

10 things i do that piss my husband off ;)

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Before I start right into this, I feel I need to address my husband first:

Honey, I know you love me very much and  I also know that sometimes i display bizarre and downright crazy tendencies that drive you crazy, everyone has their own little weird traits that grind away their partners, family and friends. However admitting it should give me some credit 😉

So here is my list:

  1. A steamy bathroom; whenever I take a shower, I first have to turn the hot water on for about 10 minutes then I get into the shower, as a result, you obviously can’t see a thing for about few hours, the toilet paper is all crumpled and useless, ooh and of course no hot water lol (sorry)
  2. I am completely and perfectly aware of how I can never seem to close any of the drawers or cupboards I open ( you can’t possibly blame me for that, I simply forget)
  3. I know how annoying I must be whenever we are at home, in our living room, at any given time, the minute you’ll stand up, I would ask you straight away “where are you going?” Daaaah I am at home where will I be going? I feel this is what you always want to tell me, but you are sweet enough to just ignore my question and instead reply : “ I will be right back” lol
  4. I am not the only woman on earth who does this, whenever we are watching a movie for the first time, I keep on asking questions about the movie as if you have watched it before!! Whaaaat!!! Ooh well you actually should be flattered, because somehow, I just assume you are smarter than I am and that you got some kind of secrete hint that I missed! Easy right?!
  5. Whenever we go to sleep, I spend an extra hour reading on my kindle, with a minimum light on, but I know how sensitive you are to any kind of lights when you want to sleep, so for that, I love you forever!
  6. This one is my favorite so far! How out of nowhere I will just turn to you and ask you: “So?” I totally get you when you give me the silliest answers ever, but it did serve the purpose right? We had a small tiny conversation woohaaa!
  7. This is no mystery, you knew it way before we got married, I just cannot stop talking, I am a woman so it is THE most natural thing ever.
  8. This is actually funny, myself, I can’t understand how I always ask you: how is your food, before you even take your first bite!! Alright I promise you, I will work on this!
  9. I always put perfume on, inside the car with the windows closed ( my bad I always remember too late)
  10. Every single night after I put the little peanut down for the night, I come back downstairs and switch off all the lights in the house along with the air conditioning. No, I am not a cave woman but I do enjoy darkness, silence and warm weather, I am a mom!

I am sure there is more to this, but let us just agree that we are done here 😉

So here, Thank you my very sweet husband for your tolerance and patience, I wanted you to know that I am aware of this list, yet I am not sure anything will ever change, Thank you again, you are the best!!

If any of you ladies out there, share one or two things from this list with me, please let me know, it will make me the happiest to know that I am not alone! Thank you!

Ouiam