Because You Are Awesome..!

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Somebody told me today that I inspire them…..and the first thought that came to my mind was: “No freaking way! I can’t be inspiring, I am just an ordinary person, leading an ordinary life”. I had to repeat those words few times to realise that something was very wrong with that reasoning of mine! The words didn’t resonate well with the symphony of my brain. A red flag popped up, a loud beep disturbed the serenity of my mind! Why am I underestimating myself? Why can’t I just say: “Oh Thank you!” and tell myself: “Yes I am!!”. It seems like we judge ourselves so harshly, that we can’t even accept compliments anymore! It is not about being humble and modest, it is almost like we don’t want to believe that we are good, great, fantastic, wonderful human beings! We have a very hard time accepting that we are good-great- at what we do! Here, I wouldn’t take the blame alone, I’ll have to say that this must be related to the pressure we receive from our environment , with the illusion of perfectionism that invaded our lives and homes. Everybody wants to be perfect, because the community we live in has made us believe that in order to survive, we need to be perfect. We want to be perfect because everybody else is perfect (or at least trying to show us that they are!). We want to be perfect because this is the norm, because we have to, we must be perfect! Perfect mothers, perfect wives, perfect daughters, perfect friends…etc. We are killing ourselves trying so hard to be the best at everything, and it never seems to satisfy us, the more we do the more we need to do! Please don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being perfect, but there is nothing wrong with being just OK too! We should be able to look at ourselves in the mirror and smile,  give ourselves a pat in the shoulder or a high five, and say: “Well Done!”. We should be able to smile and say Thank you, when someone gives us a compliment! We should be able to give compliments to other people too, and tell the wonderful people in our lives that they inspire us, without feeling threatened or insecure, just like the beautiful person I talked to this morning did!

 

Actually this whole day was a lesson, an eye opener for me! Just few hours before I got that incredibly sweet compliment, I met a very sweet lady, who looked me in the eye and said: “I think I am not a good mother!”. My hear sank and I felt tears rushing down! No MOTHER EVER should say these words! NEVER! Every mother is doing a great job, no matter what the society say! You nurtured that little angel 9 months inside of you, you bared childbirth and your body did the most magnificent thing ever! You breastfed that little miracle, you woke up every two hours for a year or two or three…! That is more than enough for you to be “mother of the year” every single year! that is by definition, the greatest thing in the world! You are a good mother, you are a great mother and no one should ever make you feel anything but that!

 

So please everyone reading this post, please do me a favor, when someone gives you a compliment, smile, node, say Thank you, and accept it… believe it! Because you deserve it! To the mothers reading this, please DO NOT let anyone shame you, or make you feel guilty in any possible way! You are awesome and you should know it! Who cares if someone out there doesn’t agree? Who cares really? Remember… smile, nod and say Thank you! Because you deserve it!

 

Ouiam

A Ray of Sunshine!

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After posting about Adam’s birth story (to view post click here ), I was showered with text messages, phone calls, messages on my Instagram and Facebook account, so much love, kind words and lots of sweet comments, that went straight to my heart and made it shine with happiness. It felt phenomenal to be supported by close friends and not so close ones, by family members and friends of friends, people I admire and people who had a great impact in my life. All this positivity and good vibes made me think: what if that’s how we treated each other, each and every single day? What if we were always kind and sweet to each other? Showering each other with compliments and positive thoughts only? What if we told a friend how beautiful she looked that day (everyday)? What if we smiled at strangers in the streets? What if we only posted positive comments online? What if we said more of “Thank you” and less of “Now” or “I want”? What if we looked at the mirror and told ourselves that we are beautiful/smart/ kind/ funny/ sincere/ honest/ understanding/ caring/ wise ….. etc. What if??? What if these things are no longer a “what if” and they become part of our daily routine?

Why is it 10 times harder to give a compliment than to criticize someone? Why is it so hard to be kind all the way even to ourselves, mostly to ourselves? It seems almost impossible to acknowledge all the qualities we have, we focus so much on the negative part that we can barely see any positive left in us. I am not talking about people with high ego; this is about people like you and me, simple people who are seeking to find themselves and experience an existence of peace and love.

I once heard this: “We have the tendency to want the other person to be a finished product while we give ourselves the grace to evolve” and it just hit me so hard, we always question ourselves: “Why did he say that” or “Why did she do that”.  We get so frustrated with other people’s behaviors as if we all HAVE TO react in the same way, as if we all analyze things the same way. Not only we cannot change other people‘s behaviors but we shouldn’t even try to! Each one of us is responsible for their actions. While something might seem terribly wrong to us, it will make perfect sense to someone else and that is how life goes on.

Today and after I saw how wonderful I felt with nothing but few kind words from some very kind people; I make it my mission to be more tolerant of other people’s actions and behaviors. I will create a mantra that I will recite daily to remind myself of how only kindness should take over my judgment, a mantra that should say “Only positive vibes today”. I vow that I will smile to strangers, nod to moms like me in the streets, let someone go before me while queuing at the cashier, I will only write positive comments online, I will support and encourage not only people I know but anyone who deserves to be appreciated. Who is with me in this? Who wants to use my mantra? Let us do this today, because we all can!!

Ouiam