Sharing Souls.

I am a firm believer that the people we meet in our life are destined to cross our path, each with a mission. Some missions are simple and entertaining and some others can be daunting and excruciating. Some might add value to our lives and some might change us forever and some others might cause us great pain and suffering in order to learn a life lesson.

Sometime we meet people for the first time, yet we feel that we have known them for a very long time, and here I wonder, did we really know them before? In a different life? A different era? And they show up again in this life as a manifestation of love? To finish a story?! We meet someone, and we immediately like them, we want to befriend them, we want to get to know them and explore their souls. We don’t know why but we’re hunted by the idea of having them in our life –again- Mostly the feeling is reciprocated which can only strengthen the theory.

Those souls we meet and are attracted to, those souls who can make ours so warm and happy, those soulmates, and I don’t only mean “soulmate” as in a love relationship, I also mean friends who complete us, who make us a better version of ourselves, who finish our sentences, who can detect the faintest note of sadness in our voice when we’re sad and beaten. How many can one have? I think I am one of the lucky ones to have witnessed many manifestations of love throughout my life. Many souls who have mastered the art of blending in with mine and have created beautiful work of art. Yet our souls and bodies are always a work in progress, as we keep on evolving and changing, our needs, ideas, and feelings keep on changing too, and our souls need more space to grow and more mates to thrive. Sometimes we are so blessed and lucky to grow and evolve hand in hand with our many soulmates, we go through life holding hands and smiling like little kids, and sometimes their time in our life ends and we all move to the next chapter, because their mission has been completed!

This reminds me a little bit of marriage, and when old couples who have celebrated many decades of matrimony, are asked “How did you manage to love and live with the same person for this long?”. This question doesn’t make any sense to me, because that husband and that wife are not the same people from all these decades ago! Everyday we wake up a little different than the previous one. Each day we learn new things about ourselves that we didn’t know before, and so does our partner. Within 5 or 6 years we are completely different than the two people who met long time ago and fell in love! Yet, as we learn new things about ourselves and our partners, our relationship grows and evolves with us, to fit our current needs, hopes and fears. And only those who open their hearts and souls and embrace each other every single day, with all the baggage they come with and the baggage waiting for them in the future, can make it and can live together happily for years and years!

Acceptance is the key! Knowing and admitting that our thoughts, opinions and feelings are never stable, and so are the ones of the people around us. No one knows what will tomorrow bring, yet we know what we are now –in the moment- The only thing we own and control is now. Being aware and in tune with our souls and bodies is a blessing and a great testimony of love. Admitting that every person in our life can add a little something to the work in progress we are, knowing that our experiences and our stories might be the life-saving anchor to many people around us without us even noticing. Listening (really listening) to people when they talk, listening with our souls and hearts and not only ears. Listening and letting our soul drown in the greatness of other people’s souls, only then we will accept and love unconditionally.

Ouiam

A Raw and Powerful Kind Of Love.. 

 

The last week was a busy one, a lovely kind of busy though. We had family around and that always makes me so happy.

 

It is amazing that no matter how long we stay abroad we never really get used to living without family. I have been in Bahrain for 10 years and I always crave those moments right after breakfast, with my family, when everyone is holding a cup of tea, not really drinking it because it probably got cold already, but no one can be bothered to heat it up. Talking about the silliest things. Reminiscing about the past, bringing up memories that we once thought dead, almost smelling the aromas of the past and getting lost in the details that we wish were to be back! We make fun of ourselves and each others like no one ever did, we cry and laugh at the same time, we hug and hold hands, we pray and hope together, we venture into red dangerous zones together and we share desserts together!

 

I had exactly that last week, and I prayed it never ends, yet and while I was making that silent prayer, my heart sank and I felt the buried pain from the past 10 years rising in my chest, like a volcano, with the cruelest revelation ever, this will end soon, it always does, we meet, we shine, our hearts expend and our souls rejuvenate, then we say goodbye and parts of our souls get lost with every one of these encounters just to be found again in the next one. Yet weeks later we forget all about it and we get back to our busy schedules and our crazy lives and life goes on.

 

Every time I think about my family, I have the urge to cry, because I only get to visit them once a year, and knowing that I am missing birthdays, graduations, bad and good days, makes me so sad, but this is life and who can argue with it? However, life isn’t that cruel, it rewarded me with a new family the day I got married. My new family embraced me as if I was theirs, and showed me that love can be shown in so many ways, not necessarily the ways I knew of, but bigger and very different ones. It taught me that being away is good because it is a chance to explore the love you have been offered, you get to stretch it and make of it whatever you want. It opened my eyes to the endless possibilities one can show compassion and receive it at the same time.

 

Sometimes we are very stubborn, we only want to be loved the way we need to be loved or the way we want to be loved yet families are different, each one has a unique charm and with it comes a wonderful sense of safety and security even if their love is different, you just have to be wise enough to take whatever you have been offered and just be grateful for it.

 

Family is the one thing that takes you in no matter who you are, they hold your hand in though times and guide you towards a safety zone. They are the force that nurses you back to life in those ugly moments of loneliness and suffering. Yet we don’t always love them the way we are supposed to, we don’t always listen to them the way we need to, we don’t always tell them all the things we should tell them. It is not necessarily a bad thing, we all need room to grow and see clearer and become better versions of ourselves, but sometimes with the change and the growing up, comes a glacial kind of unresponsiveness, and a rigid indifference and stiffness that occupies that soft part of our hearts that cries at every goodbye, and winces at every unpleasant news we hear, and expands at every meeting with our loved ones. I feel we always need a reminder of love, a reminder of the goodness in being surrounded with love, of how lucky we are every time we fall and there is a hand of a mother, a grandmother or a sister that is rushing to help. Those reminders allow us to never forget that the love of a family is bigger, brighter, and stronger than life itself.

 

Ouiam

 

 

 

 

 

Who We Marry?

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Who we marry? Do we really know? How can we know? We make this decision based on what we knew, what we saw and what we felt, based on the past, however, we all change, grow, evolve and only the future can tell, can show us who we married!

Marriage is far more than few pictures on Instagram or Facebook, with smiles, hugs and kisses. It is far from the fairytales and novels. Yes!! Who wouldn’t want to only share their beautiful moments, after all we all love to shine and sparkle and sprinkle our happy bits and pieces. To me, marriage is way more than that! Marriage is a journey that begins with a decision you and your partner take, then transforms into this roller-coaster ride, with ups and downs, milestones and hiccups. And it is really your call to make it an enjoyable, meaningful and long lasting one. Life is full of challenges and hardships, and your partner is the person whom will accompany you through them all. It is crazy and very hard to comprehend that once you are married, you kind of become one person yet you can never be one! You are two different people, with different everything really. Most people get married because they are trapped in this beautiful labyrinth of love and passion, which is the most amazing thing. However, with the years, when you have seen it all, when the newness goes away and life gets harder, you are left with each other. Your partner is the person who will hold your hand and give you a shoulder to cry on when you need it. It is the person who knows all your weirdness and not only accepts it but understands it. It is the person who has seen your good, bad and ugly and still loves you unconditionally. It is the person you want to grow older with, the person you want to share the parenthood journey with, the person you want your children to resemble to, the person who appreciates you and knows your limits, the person you want to lose people with and grieve with, the person you want to grow closer to rather than apart.

I was very blessed and lucky to find this person, the person who gets me, who accepts me the way I am, who makes me see the little things, who makes me slow down and enjoy the nows. Who makes me ME! And I am so grateful that a decision I took in my very early twenties, will be a gift for my thirties, forties and so on.

When you move on from being just a couple to being parents and you see your partner as a father to your children, to the pieces of your soul and heart, when you see how much he loves them and cares for them. You then have seen it all! You then have it all ! When I see my husband with my son, my heart bursts from happiness and love. It is a new kind of love. A love that only this person can give me. A love that defines me, that empowers me, that makes me the woman and the mother I am today.

Marriage is a union that makes you whole; not always pink and flowery yet always strong and powerful. Marriage is a bunch of every days, of little details, of things that are so tiny but so big at the same time.

Ouiam