“Hello! Come in!”

 

 

Last week, I ordered something from a home owned business. Few days later it was ready and my son and I passed by to collect it. We rang the bell and the person whom we ordered the piece from opened the door, and we were told to wait at the door step, to collect our order. To me there was nothing alarming about this, nor did I even think twice about the whole “waiting at the doorstep thing”, but my 3 years old little boy did. He immediately asked me: “Mama, why we weren’t invited to go inside”. I must admit that I had no answer to that, I mean people are free to invite whoever they like and this isn’t even someone we know, but nothing came out of my mouth, all I could think of is how my 3 years old little angel knows that doors should always be opened for guests, and guests should always come in. This must have been something he has learned in our home. He must have seen that we always invite anyone and everyone to our home!! Wooooha! My husband and I must have been doing it RIGHT! At that moment I couldn’t be happier or prouder of my son and myself too!

 

Being kind is something I always focus on, in our day to day life, with my son. Because to me, being kind is more important than how you look, how much money you make, what’s your race, religion or color! Being kind is what I pray my son will be known for. So I work hard on that, each and every day to instill this incredible quality in his soul.

When he asked me why we were not invited to come in, he was seriously confused, as if it was the most natural and common thing to do, whenever you open your door, and that’s what melted my heart then and every single minute after! The innocence with which he asked was absolutely precious, something that I sure miss in our world nowadays. We were all born innocent as my little man is now, yet somehow along the years, the experiences that shaped who we have become, the people with whom we crossed paths, the scars that our destiny made us carry, and the voice inside of us that fades with every passing day, all this and more made us become the people who can’t trust and who are sometimes unkind today.

I still have no answer for my little one, but I have loved his question more than I have cared to find the answer, his question made me realize that some things as simple as saying “Come in please” meant so much more that what they really are, it made me realize that I want to see the world through the eyes of a child, always and forever.

 

May he always open his door to everyone and anyone, may he keep trusting people even if they are unkind to him, may his eyes, soul, and heart stay forever young.

 

 

Ouiam

She Did IT, And So Can You!!

 

 

Today’s post is a little different, it is something that I have been planning to do for a while, but life has so many ways of distracting you, I guess….

 

PS: This is NOT  a sponsored post!!!

 

As part of my efforts to support and encourage women who own, operate, and manage their small businesses, I have decided to pick a business each month and introduce the steel woman behind it. This month I have chosen a business that I have personally dealt with. When Adam turned one, it was something that needed to be celebrated! Not only because of the major milestone Adam just achieved, but also because of all what we have accomplished as parents, me and my husband. We felt so proud of all the things we have done the previous year, even though many many times throughout the journey, we were not even sure that we will ever get there. So a big birthday party was called for. Technically I love organising and taking care of all parties we host, but I was already a walking zombie, operating on too much caffeine and very little sleep. My plate was too full to take any more tasks. I came a cross DE PARTY DESIGNS on Facebook (aka google for moms), I contacted Dilu, who has replied promptly, with all the needed details, she also came over to discuss with me how I wanted this party to be like. After explaining to her what I envisaged for my son’s first birthday party,  I just waited anxiously for the final product. The party was a total success, without me going bankrupt, if you are wondering. The fees were very reasonable and totally worth it.


2 years later, I really want to introduce this very motivated, strong and successful woman to every mama reading my blog. To be an example and to also be a reference if you ever need a fabulous party but you have no time or energy to plan it 😉

 

Here is a little chat Dilu and I, had and we would like to share it with you:

Dilu: “I am a mother of 3 beautiful kids who are aged 16, 12 and 9 years. I moved to Bahrain 10 years ago, with my husband’s new job assignment; leaving behind my family and my career which I have been doing for 12 long years. I always believed that family should always stick together, wherever you go or whatever challenges you face in life, so of course I had to follow my husband.

Me: What did you do before Departydesigns?

I used to work in a garment / fabric buying office as a merchandiser and freelance Interior Designer.

How did you start Departydesigns?

After moving to Bahrain I used to work as a freelance Interior Designer, and I started my own page called: D Decor Homes, while writing articles for Interior Design websites like: Look4Design and Amazing Interior Design. With the passion for designing I knew I needed to do something more, something new and not very common in Bahrain. With this idea, I started De Party Designs, and started introducing Candy Table concept, with personalisation, for all the parties, mainly birthday parties, baby showers, bridal showers …etc, going out of the box to create something new every time.

 

 What motivates you to do better every time?

Each and everyday I learn something new from my mistakes, and I want to make it better the next time. The recognition and appreciation towards my work, from people of Bahrain, make me do better and better every time.

 

Was it easy to start a business in Bahrain?

From the beginning I didn’t have any idea of how to start or from where to begin. But as always Bahrain and its people have been amazing to us, and have helped me by providing all the details on how to start up as a home based business, and then make it legalised as another step forward.

 

How do you balance work and family?

I’ve got three amazing independent kids whom have learnt to do most of their work on their own, and always help me to take my work stress out. Also my husband has been immensely helpful in both house-work and my work. He has been the fundamental help, for me to come this far. Even though I am a workaholic, I always make sure we both have plenty of time for our kids, specially towards their education. I also always make sure that I do not go beyond my limits, accepting events due to two reasons, One is : if it interferes with my personal life and my time with my family and kids. Second: I strongly believe whatever I do, I have to do it right and I should not accept many events just for the sake of money. If I can’t have enough time to prepare and deliver something great then there is no way I will commit.

 

What are your plans for the next 5-10 years?

I would love to explore and learn more about different areas and fields of events in Bahrain, as well as in the GCC. At the moment I am looking for more options for expanding my business. At the same time, I love studying about event management in different categories and I will be spending more time on that in the coming years.

 

 What will your advice be for women who would like to start their own business.

I believe if you have a passion for anything you should not hold it back. You need to come out and seek for possibilities of making it work. After living in Bahrain for many years, I have learnt that this is a beautiful country with beautiful people, who are always willing to help and lend you a hand to stand on your own feet. Go out and explore….!!!

 

 

Thank you Dilu for your time and for all the insights and advice!




Facebook: Departydesigns Dpd

Instagram @departydesigns.bh

 

 

 

Ouiam

Stop Making Motherhood Seem So Messy!

IMG_3300

 

So few days ago, I saw a post on Facebook going viral. Thousands of shares, millions of likes, and tons of comments. It was about a mother, who was about to text her friend who was coming over, saying: “Sorry for the mess at my place, the unwashed dishes, the clothes everywhere…etc.” Just to realize that she didn’t have to give excuses to anyone. This is Motherhood. I am always a huge supportive of moms everywhere, no matter who they are, what they do, or how they decide to raise their kids. I support and encourage every single mom in the universe. However, this post didn’t feel right to me. When we talk about motherhood, we are talking about the most honorable, noble and exceptionally rewarding and satisfying job. So to undermine and narrow the very essence of motherhood to being incapable of taking care of ourselves as mothers, our houses ,or our general hygiene, does not seem right to me. To show that motherhood is messy, dirty, untidy, unorganized seems very wrong to me.

 

I won’t talk about myself here, but I know a lot of other moms, mothers to one and even more than one kid; I have been to their houses and it is always clean, tidy, and so inviting. So why is this ONE mom (from the post) having a hard time doing so too. Believe me, I get how hard it is to be a mother of a newborn, I also get how tiring it is to have more than one kid, but I –as a mother myself- always manage to find the time to take care of other things too. Yes, it is exhausting but this is what life is about right? You always push yourself to be better, to live better, to do better. We don’t settle for mediocre things just because we think we can’t do more. And what’s worrying me even more is that this picture drawn by this woman, is becoming a new trend. Living in a dirty home, dirty kitchen, the mom wearing Yoga pants, with a stained T-shirt, and unmatched socks. Since when is this normal? Generations of women have done much more than what we do now and they always looked their best. Their houses, rooms and kitchens did too! I also know lots of  working mothers, who on top of it all, they have to juggle the workforce, to make sure their kids will have a bright future, the one they deserve; yet their houses never suffer from the business of their days. They probably sleep less than anyone else in their households, but they are aware that the sacrifices they are making now, will turn into rewards in just few years from now. It is so satisfying to know that you are doing your very best for your kids, every night before you put your head on a pillow. You do your best because these are your kids, the most precious possession of yours. You do your best because you don’t want to regret anything ten years from now. You do your best because these angels that you have been blessed with deserve it!

 

The season of little clothes, little feet and little hands passes by so quickly. They grow up in the blink of an eye. And soon you will get to sleep in, you will get to go for those lunches and dinners that you have been postponing for the last ten years, your house will be spotless clean and will stay so for the rest of the day if not the week, and believe me, you will miss all the mess, the noises and all that hard work you have done every single day when your little ones were growing up, but you will be happy, you will be satisfied and proud of yourself. You did it, you managed to keep your house clean your food on the table, your kids well taken care of. You will not be the first one, and probably not the last. Your mother did it before you, and your grandmother did it before her. It is OK to have a messy house, it is OK to have dishes in the sink waiting to be washed, it is OK to have piles of dirty laundry greeting you every morning; what is not OK is to link all that to MOTHERHOOD.

 

I know this post will be subject to so much disagreement and maybe even disappointment, but this will never stop me from being honest with myself. It happens that I always have an opinion about everything that goes around me, and it also happens that I always like to share these opinions and thoughts over here. So Thank you for reading and I look forward to hearing what you guys think!

 

Ouiam

We Are Women Honey…!

  
“We are women honey..! ”

I heard this phrase the other day, and it couldn’t have been said in a better time; I had just come from meeting an old friend who was telling me about her struggles in life, and how she managed to flip the coin, and get her weaknesses to be her strengths. I then started to think of all the amazing women in my life, whether they were family, friends, or just acquaintances. They were each very unique in their own world! Each have been through a surreal amount of hardships, yet each one had found the strength in her to get up, get going, and move on! And sometimes to even do the whole thing again! 

We are often taken for granted, we are often treated unfairly, we are often heartbroken, but mostly we are often rising above it all! We are daughters who care for their mothers and fathers, we are sisters who help the rest of the siblings in their homework, we are the friends we run to after the first drama we encounter in life, we are the wives who become mothers, and give their whole lives to their families! We love like no other creature in the universe! We love beyond measures, beyond rules and control. We are the first to rise in the morning, and always the last to put their heads on a pillow. We never stop being the daughter, the sister, the friend, even when life strikes us with a whole new world of responsibilities! We wear so many hats, and we feel it is our duty to always excel! 

My grandmother raised three little girls by herself, after she got divorced, in a time when this wasn’t only unacceptable in their society but also almost impossible! Yet she did it! She raised them to be wonderful, charming, well educated, caring, and inspiring women. One of them happens to be my mother! Who herself did have her own share of misery, yet gave life a slap in the face and proved that a woman is no less than a man in anyway! Her sisters did the same too! They all were strong and stubborn, they managed to build themselves and become who they are today! I come from a long line of women warriors, when crisis strike, we put on our big girl pants and deal with it! And that’s how it has always been! 

Should I even talk about giving birth? One of the hardest things anybody can ever do. I almost lost my life giving birth to my son, and I know so many women who were as lucky as I was and got back to their homes and their families, but I also know many who unfortunately weren’t as lucky! No man can ever go through this experience! Yet I don’t think we get enough credit for doing so. Giving birth has always been explained to me as the most natural and common experience in life, yet after I went through this amazing, extraordinary miracle, I realised that there is nothing normal nor common about it. Each woman goes through it differently, yet we all are strong enough to bare it, and to even do it again! God made us this strong because only he knew that being a woman requires a whole lot of strength and power to go through life the way we do!

We are half of the population, but we also make the other half! We give life, we nurture and love, we care and foster! And only we-women- can do so much! 

Today is no woman’s day, and no one day will ever be enough to recognise and appreciate every amazing woman in this life, but I chose to thank all the woman today in this post, and actually it should be a daily reminder, that we are god’s miracle, we are everything and we do everything and we should always appreciate ourselves and every other woman on earth. We should support and lift each other every day, because we are so worth it! We deserve to be loved and cherished! 

I am so thankful for all the women in my life. All of them are so amazingly strong and beautiful in their own ways! They inspire me every single day and I will forever cherish them. 

Ouiam 

The Untold Stories Of Motherhood…. 

  

It has been almost two years since I embarked in this wonderful journey of motherhood, it is kind of hard to believe, because it feels like I gave birth just few months ago, but yeah! 21months have passed since the day I officially became a mother. And boy what a journey has it been! See, when you get pregnant, people around you feel the need to warn you…! Warn you about tons of things, like the sleepless nights, or the absence of any “Me” time, or they might even strike a little harder and tell you that your life will never be the same again. You smile, you nod, you might get scared a little, but you know that YOU will do it differently… Not because you know what they are talking about… Hell how would you know? This is only your first child! But because it is simply YOU!

What no one warns you about is the huge responsibility placed on your hands. The midnight crises from all the exhaustion and the great amount of hormones who make it their mission to make your life a great sad movie! The stress on your marriage from all the pressure of those sleepless nights! The amount of invitations you will have to decline for the next god knows how long! The friends who will silently leave your life because you are no longer available for them all the time. The little horror scenes at the grocery stores, where you will try every trick you know of, to get that little one to stop his little tantrum! The list is painfully long but no one chooses to break the news to you, instead they give you small hints and invite you to see for yourself. 

They also never tell you about the wonderful moments that you will choose to lock and keep somewhere safe for when those little ones are not so little anymore! They never tell you what it is to have your heart outside your body, moving, walking and running. They never tell you the magic that kids bring into your life! The joy one can get from a smile, hug or kiss. The beauty of life when you have a little one depending on you, knowing and wanting only you! The little hands and feet, the gibberish talk and the toothless smiles! The pride you take when he learns new things! The love… Oh the love! You never ever knew your heart was capable of loving this much, this way! Your heart will burst at the end of each day, and grow a little bigger the next, to make room for more love for that little human being! No one tells you that kids are god’s gift to you, so you can relive your childhood, so you can do what you never had a chance to do when you were a kid, or even when you grew up to be the adult you are now! You see the sun clearer, you admire the shape of rocks, you stop each time you see an ant, you gasp every time you see a star, you walk slower, you laugh harder, you see, hear, smell, touch everything differently! You follow your child’s footsteps and you go along in their slow rhythm! Every time your hand holds that tiny hand, it is an unwritten promise you make to protect your child and keep him safe from every harm! Every day you wake up and hear the little voice mumbling, you thank god for all the blessings! No one tells you about any of these things because no one can ever describe them the way they should be described. No one can ever explain to you what is it to be a mother, and even if someone some day will, you will never ever grasp the real meaning until a piece of your soul comes out of you and becomes your whole life! 

Motherhood is the untold story of sacrifice and bravery! It isn’t for the faint hearted, nor for the empty souls. It is the sacred gift to women…! Women.. These great creatures who in a world bathed in a stuttery glow, make magic gracefully appear! 

Ouiam

What’s On Her Mind: Is There Such A Thing As Guilt Free Motherhood

  
What’s On Her Mind number two yaay..! I already love this feature so much and I have so many more amazing women to share their stories, with all of you in the upcoming months. Awesome..!! 
This week a wonderful mama will be sharing with all of us, her words of wisdom. Be sure to check her blog and say hello! So I will leave you with What’s On Her Mind…..

Is there such a thing as Guilt free Motherhood?

The moment you embark on the journey of motherhood, you are made to feel guilty. Guilty for the conscious decisions you make for the betterment of your child. Proven guilty by society or proven guilty by the devil inside your mind. 

The society we live in has all sorts of opinions on what the “done” thing is, whether it be breastfeeding, formula feeding, co-sleeping, self-soothing, being a working mother or a stay at home mother. There are all sorts, isn’t there, but the worst culprit is probably yourself. The mummy guilt that exudes from within is always there. Though we very well known that the mother’s gut instinct is right and also what we should follow, sometimes we end up second-guessing ourselves about our parental decisions. 
These decisions cause so much worry. Am I being too strict to my toddler? Am I giving him a balanced enough meal? Is he reaching all his development milestones at the right age? Am I spending enough time with him? Am I cuddling him enough? Are his toys enriching his developmental skills? Am I encouraging him enough to socialise with other children? Am I not teaching him about stranger danger early enough? Am I reading him enough books each night? I could go on and on but these are some of the thoughts I have on an almost daily basis, and boy is it difficult. 
Of course, my little 15 month old is a healthy happy boy, who walks and babbles away, eating imaginary food with his plastic bowl and spoon, and I know as a mother I have succeeded thus far. However, sometimes we simply need to take a step back from the overwhelming responsibility of motherhood and give ourselves a pat on the back for what we have achieved. Whether you have only been a mother for a day or for a century, if you care enough about your child to worry about them, then you are already doing a great job. I learnt early on that no amount of research was going to teach me how to carry out motherhood; it simply had to be done. Done with an insane amount of patience and endless amount of love. The guilt is just part of the learning curve that mothers go through each day, and needs to be handled accordingly. 
Have I got rid of the mummy guilt? Definitely not. Will I ever be rid of it? Perhaps never. But I sure can take steps towards reducing it and being more confident of my decisions for my child, and I urge all other parents to do the same. So is there such a thing as guilt free motherhood? I believe not. Yet we can take days off when we can look at our offspring and give ourselves a high-five for being a brilliant parent. Before wondering whether you gave them enough cheese to fulfil the GDA dairy quota…

Zeyna 

Blog:    htttp://www.mummyonmymind.com

Twitter: https://twitter.com/mummyonmymind/

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What’s On Her Mind….: My New-Mom Crisis

  

  

  Welcome to a new feature series here on Chanel Mama, that will run through the next few months! “What’s On Her Mind” is a special feature just for moms, where other moms will share their good old-fashioned words of wisdom! Since I became a mother, I became so curious to know how do other mamas do it. Although I read all the books and done all the research, it never helped me as much as the advice of another fellow mama! I always find myself loving to hear about other parents’ experiences and taking ideas and inspiration from everything I hear. So why not share these bits and pieces of “Mommy wisdom” with all of you! We will be hearing all sorts of stories, from the simple to the complex, the serious to the silly… So I hope you enjoy! 
The very first featured mama, is one of my very good friends: Maria. A mom to a beautiful little girl. I always love to hear what she has to say and I was thrilled when she accepted to share with us her “Words of Wisdom!”

My New-Mom Crisis 

 

After the first weeks or months of baby oblivion, there comes a time when new moms arise from the fog and wonder, what happened!? Who am I? A mom…will it ever be about me again? Just for a day?

 

Becoming a mom is an incredible blessing that fills life with a wholehearted joy unbeknownst to former pre-mom self. However, life is forever changed in a big way.

 

Most people will tell new moms that they need to make time to take care of themselves. But how do we really do that without making sacrifices when it comes to our child’s care? Its not like you can take two hours, and boom! You have now taken care of your physical, social, emotional, and intellectual needs for the next month. How can we possibly fulfill our needs when we are responsible for another human being who can’t do anything without our help (for more than a few minutes any way)? What a huge responsibility. 

 

I remember my crisis moment, when I couldn’t just focus on the baby anymore. I needed a change, a diversion, something. So I took my 8-month old daughter to the UAE so that I could explore career opportunities. We moved out of our apartment in Bahrain and into suitcases bound for a hotel in Abu Dhabi. I met with recruiters and went on job interviews. It felt great to be out alone…to wear a suit and heels and converse with professionals. However after a month or so I realized I would not find a work situation that would allow me to still give my daughter the time and attention I felt she needed and that I wanted to give her at that age. So that adventure was over. We moved back to Bahrain. 

 

Instead of thinking about jobs, I decided to start a volunteer group. I got in touch with local charities that needed volunteers and formed a group of like-minded people on social media. I could now contribute my time and talents to worthy causes on a schedule that I dictate. I was meeting other like-minded adults, addressing important issues, learning about the local culture, and helping people in need. Volunteering helped filled that void I felt by leaving the workforce. 

 

I’m still working to find better ways to get in my regular workouts and always looking for mom life hacks. I still have days when I just want to cry because I can’t take the screaming anymore. Sometimes I have doubts that I am making the right decisions and doing the right thing for my family. But no matter what we are actually doing in our lives, we will still have those days. We just make the best decisions we can for the time being. As our situation changes, we reassess and adjust. 

 

I’m very blessed to be a mom, to have the opportunity to volunteer, and the luxury to stay home with my daughter. I’m lucky to have the choice to do what I feel is best for my family, and not be forced into a situation by circumstances. 

 

I just want other moms to know that its completely normal to go through mini-crisis during motherhood, especially in the early days. There are so many new choices many of us have to make as moms, to work or to stay at home with our children, to hire a babysitter or not, and if so, how often. How much “me” time do we need to maintain our sanity, and how best to use it. No one can tell us what’s right for us and our families. It’s something we have to figure out on our own, and sometimes by trial and error. I’m sure you can think of a bunch of awesome people, who are doing great things, and who you respect. And I bet they all had very different moms and upbringings. There is no one formula for being a great mom or that guarantees a successful upbringing of your child. 

 

So what have you learned about your new-mom self? What have you incorporated into your life as mom to ensure you are meeting your needs, and how have you done that? I would love to learn from you.
Thank you!