Why I Rather Be A Mom On Mars….

  

Having kids, is having your heart go walking outside your body. I remember hearing it when I was pregnant and thinking: “Oh No! I won’t be that kind of moms!” Little did I know, that it would be even worse than what I was warned of! It is as if my heart is separated from my body and walking away! And what is even worse is that it will always be this way, even if he is 10,20,30,…..90years old! So yes I am that kind of moms: I only have eyes for my son. I take hundreds of photos of my kid and I spend every minute of my son’s time with him! Also, there are things -lots of them- that totally set off my spidey sense! And things that simply upset me! And make me wanna live in another planet! Here are few of them:
1- When people offer food to my toddler. I realise how nice of a gesture this is, and that they only do it because they are friendly and generous. However, my son has many food allergies so far, and I can’t just risk having him getting sick because someone has offered him something he never had before! 
2- When people kiss my son on the cheeks (or anywhere on his face). One word: Germs!!!!! I am not a fan of sleepless nights due to sickness, therefore I am totally against people kissing babies/toddlers! 

3- When people ask me why do I put my son to sleep at 7pm! Simply because babies/toddlers need at least 12 hours of sleep at night, for their brain’s development! It is also important for restoring their energy! Not to mention that since I am the only one who takes care of my son most of the time (no babysitter, no nanny, just me and my husband), I need to rest! Ooh yeah and also: My house My rules lol!! 

4- When people ask with an accusing tone of voice, why don’t I use medication when my son is sick and instead completely rely on home remedies! The answer is very simple, there is nothing wrong with using natural remedies to treat any kind of illnesses. They have been used years and years ago, and it has been proven to give more benefits than its over the counter counterparts. 

5- When people ask me why don’t I get some help and hire a babysitter: I never complained first of all, then under no circumstances I would like to miss a minute of my baby’s life! These baby/toddler days are very numbered and will soon finish! So I am taking advantage of each second and minute I still have! Yes it is tiring but I wouldn’t have it any other way!!  

I am sure every Mama has her own fears, likes and dislikes. I am also sure not everyone agrees with me and that’s Okay. However, I am very curious to know the little things that piss you off, as a mother, and what makes you uncomfortable as a parent! Please share! 
Ouiam 

When in Oujda… With Adam! 

  

  
  
  
   
 

   
   

If you ask me what is the best part of my day? I would most probably say my mornings with Adam! They are the coolest, neatest and so much fun, with a little bedhead who is such a chatterbox! But wait a second..! I also love our quiet and cozy nights! I love having Adam against my chest! Feeling his breath in my neck, while i sing for him and he hums, moves left and right, scratches his ear then his nose, hums again, moves a little more till he finds the perfect position! He then hugs me so tight and he starts making the transition to Lala Land! I also love our afternoons together! They are usually so lively, vibrant and so much fun! Oh well my whole day with Adam is so lively, vibrant and so much fun! It just blows my mind everyday, how much fun you can have, with such a tiny little human being! 
Since we came to Morocco, Adam has established his own routine, and i love it! We start our days as usual, at 7:30am. The little cute voice calling from the monitor: “Mamaaa” always makes me smile before i even open my eyes! I am then greeted with the brightest smiles! A big hug and a kiss! We sing our “Good Morning” song! Then we kiss Mr.Teddy and Big Bear and wish them a great day! Then we both move to the bed that was once mine, sometimes we just cuddle, sing and play for an hour, and some other times my little sleepyhead decides to sleep some more, on my chest this time, for another hour! And i just love it! I love having him so close to me! I feel whole again! Somehow whenever he isn’t in my arms, something aches inside of me and it only stops when he is back to where he belongs: my arms! 
We then go downstairs to join my parents for breakfast, we all sit around the table, and talk while eating! Adam loves telling his grandparents his stories! And of course they are delighted to hear them all, even if they still can’t understand each other lol. Our breakfast usually takes forever! But once done, Adam takes his Grandfather’s hand, gets his shoes and points to the door! He is explicitly telling his ” Basidi” (my dad), to take him to the park, where he has been taking him every morning since we came! He took me there when i was Adam’s age, and took every other grandchild he had! And now it feels like i have accomplished a great achievement by giving my dad a son to take to that same park again! And fulfil a family tradition! When they finally come back from the park, Adam is exhausted and by then needs a nap! (I wish I had Adam’s life! Lol), so we go back to the room that was once mine and now Adam completely took over! We read books over and over again! Until Adam thinks that we’ve read enough, we then take Mr.Teddy, Big Bear and Blanky, and move to Adam’s bed, where he would hug them all, sing a little, and fall asleep! 
Once he wakes up from his nap, we have our lunch! We all sit around the table again and we talk again about anything and everything! The weather has been so amazing since we came! The days are so bright and warm! And we all love it! Adam loves his grandmother’s cooking of course!  He’s been enjoying her delicious meals since we came! Needless to say that he has been spoiled and spoiled and spoiled a little more! And it warms my heart to see him being spoiled by his grandparents! My parents! 
Our afternoons are always busy! Adam loves to be outside, and since the weather is so wonderful, we always go out and about! Run errands, visit family members, go for picnics, and long walks! And it is always so much fun to see Adam engage with my family! They play, laugh, sing and dance all together!  
Dinner is always served for Adam at 6pm! While he eats, we sing and clap for him while he laughs, not sure whether he thinks we are weird or he is just amused by what we re doing! I rather think it is the later.
After dinner, it is Bath time! Adam loves being in the water, so our bath time is usually about 30 mins! We then go back to his room! Read our bedtime story, say our prayers and read some Quoran! And i take my little baby in my arms, i sing for him until he sleeps! And by then i already miss him so much and can hardly wait for him to wake up the next morning, so we can do it all over again!! 
Ouiam! 

How Bad Do You Wanna Be Successful?!

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Great, now that I’ve got your attention, let’s first look up the definition of Success:

Success: The achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted.

So from this definition, we can safely say that success is not given, and most definitely not the product of luck! It is achieved. The word “desired” also implies, that success is wished for, and wanted by the individual who is seeking it. Which makes me believe that it is then a choice. We choose, plan, want, wish for a specific thing, then start working on it, in order to get it! So far, I guess we all agree, right?

Okay! now let us move to the complicated stuff!

Since someone’s success is strongly linked to his choices, how come some of us are successful while some are not? And I don’t believe there is anyone in this planet who wouldn’t like to actually be successful! In addition, whenever we watch TV, browse on the net or social Media, we kind of get the impression that successful people, have to either be rich, famous or somehow important! Doesn’t that contradict the definition of success? Where it is clearly stated that success depends on one’s wishes! Which implies that anyone and everyone can be successful!??

Let’s take Vincent Van Gogh, for example, he was not famous, he was a struggling artist in his lifetime, yet who now doesn’t know him? Who on earth would think of him as “not successful”? This shows you in a very humble way, that to be successful, you shouldn’t be rich or famous! If anything, you should work hard and be passionate about what you do!

This time I will not go as far as the medieval ages to prove a point, I will stick to the twenty first century! And I will talk about myself. Currently I am jobless (as many would think), I am not famous at all, yet I am very important to my family! I wake up every morning, excited about what the day will bring and how we will make each second of it count, I take care of my lovely little bed head, from morning till night, without a break, I am exhausted by the end of each day, yet I am the happiest I have ever been! I love what I am doing and I love doing it every single day! So to me, I am very successful! Sure, to you I might be a stay-home mama, but remember success is a choice, you choose where you want to be successful and you work on it until it happens. I chose to be successful as a stay-home mama! And some days I do a wonderful job at being successful!

To me success will have to be related to what you are passionate about, because only then you can challenge yourself to give your best performance, now if what you are passionate about can get you a steady and decent income, then why not, but if it doesn’t it will not make you less successful!

In order to be successful, you need to believe that you can do it! You need to sink within yourself, get beneath the layers of your mind and dig deep, until you find out what it is that you are passionate about, only then you can fly to the great big success, that only you can define and determine. Never belittle yourself or what you do or what you are passionate about! The richest people of this era started very small, yet they believed in themselves and in their ideas. And their passion only gave them the drive to reach where they are now. If other people do not think of you as successful enough, rich enough or important enough, Well be it! However, you will always be successful in your own way!

Ouiam

Be Careful…… Or Not!

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Growing up, I was told to never walk barefoot, to never go to unfamiliar places without a family member, to never play with the mud or sand because my clothes will get dirty. And I have done just as I was told. While these rules seem perfectly logical and reasonable, now I wish I had rebelled against them, at least once in my childhood. I remember when I was about seven years old, my brother bought me a super cool bicycle, a green one. And he taught me how to ride it. However, I was told to only play with it in the backyard, so years after this, when I was about 15 years old, I met a new friend and while talking we discovered that we were once neighbors, so she said “Oh you are the little girl with the green bicycle who never left their backyard?” we laughed and laughed about it, but I secretly felt a little sad that it was so true, I actually never left our backyard with that cool bicycle! and I wished I had done the opposite, even once in all those years! My mom was a teacher and whoever was raised by a teacher, will understand what I am talking about. Discipline was vitally important in our household! And I thank god for that, because thanks to the way my mom raised me, I am who I am today, I know my limits and what is wrong and right! Yet I wish I could have got my hands and clothes dirty while playing in the mud, or felt the ground with my bare feet, while running and screaming like the rest of my friends did, I wish I took that green bicycle around the neighborhood, I wish I wasn’t careful at times, I wish I fell more and scratched my knees, I wish I broke a leg while climbing a tree. I know my wishes might sound absurd to some of you, but that is the truth! I do wish I didn’t hear too many “be careful”s!

Today and because of all the “be careful”s I heard, I am always careful, way too careful. I do not like to go to the beach because I don’t like the sand, I am scared of all kind of animals, I never climb anything, I never walk barefoot! And that is exactly why I do things differently with Adam. Because I lived the other side of the story and I did not like it! I want my child to decide for himself how he wants to be entertained. The other day, we went for a walk with a friend, her sons and her dog: Harvey! He looked like a very sweet dog! It was Adam’s first time to encounter a dog, he liked him first but when Harvey came closer, he panicked, well actually, we both did, so I had to fight my fear, and touch the dog because how else will my son learn that it is okay to play with dogs! I had to fight the urge to run, I had to keep calm and explore, myself, how it feels like to caress and play with a dog! Few minutes later Adam was indulging himself in some Harvey and Adam time! And I was in cloud nine! I did it!! And therefore he did it too!!

Few months ago, at a birthday party, Adam was still crawling commando style, and of course he was being the little active and energetic little boy he is. He was all over the place, crawling left, right and center. I overheard two lovely women, wondering why I left my child crawling the way he did, on a floor where germs were having a little party of their own, and one of them decided that i did it because I was too tired and had no one to help me with Adam. It was very funny because it was not the first time I hear these kind of comments, and surprisingly, they make me happy! I realize how different I am doing my job as a mama, and it makes me happy! I was right behind my son, making sure that he was safe, yet I didn’t stop him from getting dirty or exploring the surroundings. Actually, I always insist on taking him to the play in the grass, with the mud and sand, explore, and get those little fingers and toes dirty (nothing that a 5 minutes bath cannot fix), I teach him how to climb and how to get down, I let him walk barefoot in the supermarket, pushing the trolley around, while strangers shoot me with their angry looks, and that is totally fine!

Although being too careful allowed me to be more creative and innovative, it unleashed my imagination and spread my wings, yet I still wish I wasn’t careful all the time. And it is such a great blessing to be able to learn so much while teaching my son not to be careful! Parenting is letting go of your child a little more every day, it is growing together while growing apart. Parenting is tricky, but I know from my own experience that it is okay to let kids be kids, it is Okay not to control every moment and hold back because of our fears! So every day I try to teach my little one to fly on his own, little by little, until one day he can do it all by himself! Until we both can do it on our own!

Ouiam

Yes I am JUST a Mom….!

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Yes I am JUST a mom, doing mummy stuff all day long. I spend my days with a little baby, feeding and bathing him, reading and playing with him. We go out for walks when the weather permits, we sing and have dance parties, we jump and crawl together, we paint and color. You know just mummy stuff!! And yes when people tell me “Oh yeah you are JUST a mom” I smile, I feel proud, I give myself a pat on the shoulder and say: “Yes I am A MOM!!”. I do not get offended, it never bothers me, because to me, being a mom is the greatest job in the world and that is just enough for me. Because when my son looks me right in the eyes, and smiles, that is all the acknowledgment I need. Because when my husband says: “I am here now, go take a break, you’ve done a lot today”, that is the only form of appreciation I want! I think of my mom and my grandmother, and all the greatest women in my life, and yes some of them might be JUST moms to some people but they mean the whole world to me!

When I meet someone for the first time, and they ask me: “So what do you do? “ I proudly reply: “I am a full time mama!” I can see a glimpse of disappointment in their eyes, a little awkward smile follows, and most of them change the subject instantly! I, on the other hand, feel sorry for them, because they seem so embarrassed. I feel like telling them: it is Okay! I am who I am and I love it!

Yes I am who I am and I love it! I am a mama! Nevertheless, I am a woman too, a woman who spends her free time working so hard to make herself better every day! A woman, full of ambition and ideas! I am also a wife to a great man; a daughter to wonderful parents! a sister and a friend! I am a human being and that is enough for me. I do not need a job to define me, I might want a job to satisfy a tiniest part in me that is hidden for now, but it will never define who I am. This is how I see myself and with everyday/ week/ month/ year, this vision changes, converts, rotates and I am Okay with that too!

I most definitely congratulate every working mama! Because they simply are superheroes! They are powerful, strong and selfless women! And they are wonderfully respecting who they are and who they want to be! Nonetheless, this does not downgrade full time mamas in any possible way!

Being a mother empowers me in the most satisfying way! I teach a little human being bits and pieces about life, I take his little hand and walk with him, guide him and be there for him, I build and create his memories! I shape his childhood and toddlerhood! I am his Mama! And that is more than enough for me, for now!

If you feel the same way too, let me know, share your story too…!

Ouiam

Because i was not always a Mom….

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Because I was not always a Mom, I know what it is to be the lady in the queue, mumbling under her breath and eyeballing the other lady with a crying toddler. Because I was not always a Mom, I know what it is to be the lady in the restaurant sending angry looks to the mama sitting beside her, whose child is making a mess while eating! Because I was not always a mom, I know what it is to be the lady who glances over at the mom ignoring her little one, who is screaming his little heart out calling her, right there in front of her! Because I was not always a mom, I know what it is to be the sister/friend/cousin who thinks why on earth would a parent give an Ipad to his/her child! Because I was not always a mom, I know what it is to be the flight attendant, who wishes parents with infants never leave their home for a vacation! Because I was not always a mom, I know what it is to be the friend who gets frustrated when her new mama-friend cancels their plan at the last minute. I know and I understand. I was there! I vowed that when I become a mother, none of the above would happen. Because I would do things right, I would do things by the book. My child will never throw tantrums at the grocery store, my child will never make a mess in the house, my child will never ……… ( I have an enormous list of NEVERs).

Now, here we are, I am a mother of a one year old little babe, he is still a baby (I refuse to admit that he is actually a toddler now), he still doesn’t get to do much from the list above, however, I see it coming! And I see myself becoming that mom. This does not freak me out, it doesn’t even bother me! I will proudly be that mama! The mama who tries her best to be the best at this crazy parenting thing! Who doesn’t figure it out all the time but she is constantly trying! A mom who stops for a minute, takes a deep breath, and puts back on her smile and her Mickey mouse voice and keeps going with “ yes honey bunny you have to sit down while eating” or “ you are not supposed to scream darling” or “ sweetheart, you need to be gentle with your friends if you want to keep them” or  for the 101 time say “ baby boy, you should not throw your food”. There are no rules, no guidelines of how a mama should be! She should be herself and that’s it! There is a huge propaganda out there, of what “Perfect “is when it comes to motherhood, and I refuse to even acknowledge it! There is no “perfect”! We are all trying, trying, and trying again. When a day is over and we put our heads on a pillow and tell ourselves “we didn’t do too bad today” that is my “Perfect”! When we say “Oh man! What a tough day! But tomorrow will be better” that is my “Perfect”!

So today, when at the grocery store and my little one decides to sing so loud I just smile and let him, i don’t and will never try to stop him, no matter how many angry looks I get, I just “don’t care”! When in the airplane and he wants to be all over the place (as long as he is not touching or bothering the passenger next to me) I will let him. As long as he is safe, responsible and disciplined I will let him! I will always let him explore and be adventurous! I will always let him inquire and satisfy his curiosity.

I was once judgmental and never understood why would anyone bring a crying, completely dependent little human being to the world, but now I do, and I understand how possibly everyone who is “childless” will and should wonder the same thing. I just smile now and nod and secretly (in my head) I tell them just wait a little longer and you will see!

I have to mention though, that as every rule in this world, there is always an exception! I have a couple of wonderful single girlfriends who adore my little baby and are so gentle and patient with him (and me). Who will always choose to meet up somewhere close to my house if not come over to my place because they know how difficult it has become to be out and about. Who will offer to carry him and play with him the whole time, because they enjoy it and not because they have to. Who will not get upset if I cancel a date because something came up, and instead they will ask:  “is there anything I can do?” These beautiful friends of mine are the exception. They will make awesome wonderful little mamas! And Adam and I, we adore them.

So here, I send all the mamas in the world, the biggest hug, and tell them not to worry about the angry looks, the mumbling, or the judgmental comments. You are doing your best and that is all what matters.

Ouiam

Mornings with Adam 

Little noises coming from the monitor on my bedside table, and before I even open my eyes, I have a smile on my face, I know exactly what he is doing: sitting on his bed, playing with his blanky and his “teddy” the bear. Talking and laughing, entertaining himself while Mama gets ready and comes to make her grand Entrance with her “Good Morning” song. I will still be lingering under the blanket until I know that he means business! The minute I open the door, I am instantly  received by his delightful lovable “Apple Face”, with his biggest smile on, his arms up, ready to be carried. Sweet kisses and the warmest hugs follow. Now we are ready to kick-start the day and make it the best we can!

I love every bit of my mornings, I know they will change soon, sooner than I think, so I try to keep them safe in my heart and my mind, I take plenty of pictures and videos and just hope I can stop the time right here and right now.

Adam knows what is coming next, he comes to our favorite corner in the room, snuggles with me while he has his milk, then playtime is on! Hide and seek, throwing things from the bed, dance parties, getting under the bed, opening drawers and taking all the clothes out. Any random activity that will make mama sweat while cleaning up, seems to be a favorite game of his. Who needs toys anyways!

8:30am signals Breakfast time!!  Here we are, downstairs, and the house suddenly gets so busy and noisy. A fading “Ding ding dang” coming from the play area in our living room, where Adam is tackling the little piano, A “Tak” from the toaster, the fridge opening and closing, plates and spoons on the move, Pharrell Williams on full volume, while we all (well mostly me) sing along with him “ Because I am happy”. With the occasional whining and complaining coming from a little peanut who is so ready for his breakfast! Adam usually has either a toast with Dada’s homemade jam ( because Dada makes the best jam at home and we love devouring it!) ,or  lots of fruits either as a puree with some vanilla or cinnamon or just pieces with some yogurt, or pancakes with some oatmeal cereals. Next to him, Mama has her fruits too! And this is one of my favorite moments of the day, while we are both having our breakfast, listening to some music, and talking about what we will do during the day (I do the talking and Adam responds in his baby language lol). And deep down I know that this is one of the things I will miss terribly as the time flies by!

Once we are done, I take Adam for a shower. By then he starts showing signs of tiredness, so we go back to our favorite corner in the room, we snuggle again while we read our morning story “Pluche mon doudou prefere” a French story that I was reading to him since he was in my womb, and now it is his favorite.  I tuck him in bed, we cuddle for some time until he lands safely in “Lala land “. Happy morning nap!

The house succumbs in a dreadful silence. Glimpses of my mornings before Adam crawl into my mind, reminding me of how different they were, how serene and calm and so unlike this one and the previous ones.  I take few sips of my long awaited for coffee and cherish every minute of this deep and comforting silence, while I make plans for the day, from what is for lunch, to what are we going to do today, to what we will both wear! Then I set my hand on my kindle and get lost in a good book, until my little friend wakes up and we go through our day with every intention to make it the best yet!

I love my mornings with Adam, they are bright and full of joy and happiness, they are my favorite kind of days!

Ouiam