The Holiness of Marriage, Truth or Myth?

 

Most women when they come into a marriage, they come in with very high expectation. They feel that life will somehow turn pink because now they are going to live what fairytales make us believe: “Happily ever after”. With all the romantic movies, the chick flicks, the pictures every married couple is bound to post on social media platforms, we form a very different idea of what marriage truly is. Since early days, marriage has been looked at as: “Sacred” and “holly”. In all religions, ending a marriage is -almost- a sin. However, and with all what society forces us to believe, the statistics are showing otherwise. Wherever you go, people are getting divorced. Homes are being destroyed, children are being dragged from one home to another, and life is never the same after that, for every person involved in this dilemma.

 

Marriage if done right is a true source of happiness. It is the feeling that you have someone with you throughout the good and bad. It is knowing that no matter what happens the person with you is going to hold your hand and tell you that it will be OK. Marriage is knowing when to back off and when to move forward, it is knowing your partner and accepting their flaws, it is seeing the worse parts of them yet still love them to no end. It is mainly communication, communication and communication. It is a daily struggle to make sure you both are on the same page. It is a work in progress, just like we all are. The person you were when you met your partner is not the person you are today, you have changed and so did your partner, and so while this continuous changing and evolving is happening, your marriage is also moving forward, and it is your responsibility to keep track of things, because if you don’t, with every passing day, a bigger gap will form, and you will end up becoming strangers in your own home.

 

Marriage is a different kind of love, it is a love that is strong, free of doubts, joyful even in the most mundane situations. It is a love that gets tested every single day, and whether it makes it through the day or not, depends on how well are we going to communicate, how open are we with each other and with ourselves.

 

I met my husband almost 10 years ago, we were friends for a while, then together -in a relationship (Yes we were!! Don’t frown!)- then engaged, and finally married 2 years after we met. The people we were 10 years ago have long disappeared, the people holding the torch today are absolutely different people, yet we did it together, we explored who we were and who we could be together. We gave each other space to venture in the craziness of oneself, yet we held each others’ hands through those tough times, when we couldn’t see the hidden truths. We struggled to find a common ground where we both can be whoever we want to be, yet still be the same person we were to each other. We were hopeless together, we cried and laughed together, our hopes got crashed and we watched each other drawn, yet we held on tight, and we were each other’s anchors. We lost babies together and experienced what I would call”Seeing your heart being ripped out of your chest” together, and the love burning inside each one of us got stronger and clearer. Every single morning, I wake up, and pray God to guide us through the day’s challenges and hardships, and show us the way through his light and love. Every single day is a different scenario, and every day has its own drama, yet every single day we both believe and know that we are true to ourselves, we are honest and we are in this together, not because we are married, and marriage is sacred and because we have to be happy and in love, but because we both do want to be together no matter what life has for us.

 

 

No one ever enters a marriage with the intention of getting a divorce, no one! Yet people still do and I wonder why? The first thought that jumps into my mind is how society looks at marriage, and how it is somehow striped of any normality and taken into a whole new level. Starting from how movie makers show married couples, or couples in love who are getting married, and you would think they live in another galaxy. How life is literally “happily ever after” in their worlds. Therefore, every single lady who sees that expects that in her future life and marriage, and there she is, starting her new life already holding the bar so very high. In all the rosiness and the beauty of marriage, life unfortunately creeps in, and just “happens”. Things happen every single day, and every day is a different story. Not necessarily bad all the way, but the stress life puts on a marriage makes it impossible to have rainbows and unicorns dancing in your skies every single day.

 

What also really bothers me about this whole idea of marriage, is the “sacracy” of it. While I agree that marriage is a beautiful bond that attaches two strangers together, hopefully for life; it also attaches their families and makes everyone part of an even bigger family; but the idea that marriage itself is something holly and sacred is a little too strong for me. It puts so much pressure on this whole marriage thing and on us. How can I live normally when I am in this almost surreal, holly, divine, religious thing? Me a humble creature? Someone who is far away from divinity? How about a little bit of reality here? Marriage is simply the union of two completely different people, different ideas, different brains, different opinions, and different characters, who are linked to each other, living together, having kids together, making a family together, facing life’s challenges together, arguing over who will take the trash out, experiencing happy and crappy days together, and so on. It is simply NORMAL, nothing sacred or holy about it. Wait don’t hate me yet…!  To me marriage is something secular, it is something as normal as life can be. It will go through ups and downs and that’s absolutely fine. It will reach low levels and rise up to even higher ones. And even though myself I see God everywhere I go, and I hold my faith closer and closer to my heart each and everyday, yet I still believe that for once we should see marriage for exactly what it is and that’s it.

 

Life already puts way too much pressure on us and on our marriages, leaving us struggling to even breath, there is no need to put even more pressure, just because society wants things this way. From now on look at your marriage as the most normal, common and ordinary thing. Take all the pressure off, and just be, you and your partner. Live life the way it presents itself to you. Forget about what society thinks, or how everyone expects you to smile and giggle all day long with your partner. Forget that you need to show that you are happy and just live, just be! Forget what people will think of you if you don’t see your marriage as holy and just accept the challenges that life will bring your way each and every day. Don’t worry if by society standards you are doing something wrong by not forcing yourself to fake it. Be real for yourself, for your partner and for your family. Articulate your worries, fears, and dislikes. Talk about how crappy some days are, speak up about the bad days and how sometimes all you want to do is leave. Be real, be normal, be you.

 

 

My advice to you dear friend is to live life to the fullest, honor your marriage by being real and true to yourself. Dissipate the idea that married people shouldn’t argue, shouldn’t slam doors, shouldn’t be mad at each other. Respect your partner even in the middle of a war, yet let your emotions come out as freely as can be, without worrying about what your friends, neighbors, or family might think. Respect, Honor, and immerse yourself in the goodness of your marriage by embracing the bad before the good.

 

 

Ouiam

From My Heart to Yours!

 

I met you almost 8 years ago, in an airport, where we both took the same flight, to the same destination, where you were going to meet my family. You had a big smile on your face, one that only you have: big, bright, and beautiful. You greeted me with a firm, yet very gentle handshake. We started talking about random things: the flight we were about to take, the weather, the airport…etc. As we boarded the flight, our conversation got deeper and deeper. We talked about religion, childhood memories, life, work, and tons of other things, and that’s when I knew that I have made the best decision ever. The whole 12 hours journey we took together passed in the blink of an eye. I felt comfortable and at ease with you. I wanted to tell you all the stories I had and you listened with interest, you asked questions, you wanted to know more, you always do, because you are a true gentleman .

 

The look in your eyes was so soft, loving and just one that makes everyone around you feel happy and special. This look is always there, even now, almost 8 years later. Every time I see you, you still greet me with this exceptionally wonderful look, you also hug me, kiss me on the cheeks, and on the forehead, every single time. This is how we do it: A hug, a kiss on each cheek , one on the forehead, and I just love it so much.

 

Since day one, I felt like I could always rely on you, I felt you were a friend, a father, and great big brother.  I felt that you were my home away from home, and that your heart was one of gold. I knew how lucky I was to be in your life.

 

I was blessed with your presence in the last 8 years, and you have offered me all the love, guidance, and support I needed and wanted. You were there in every up and down I have faced, you offered advice and you loved me no matter what.

 

I always look forward to our late night chitchat sessions, with coffee, nuts, and tons of funny stories from you. You take story telling to a whole new level and boy do we all love you for that!

 

My child sees you as his hero, and it melts my heart every time. He always keeps the best hugs and kisses for you, and only you. He will run to you for a “bear hug” –as you guys call it- every single time he sees you, even if it was the 50th time that day. I am not only blessed because you are in my life, for me and with me in every step of the way, but also because you are there for the person I love more than anything in this world: my son.

 

No I am not talking about my husband, I am talking about his Dad, my father-in-law, and my son’s grandfather. The light of Al-Amri family, the one we always pray God to keep bright and shining forever.

 

This is for you to tell you that the value you add to our lives is unmeasurable, and that the love we have for you is unconditional, sweet and incomparable. May you always stay blessed, healthy and happy.

 

From your daughter in law, with so much love.

 

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Ouiam

 

A Tribute To My Master.

Today marks the closure of a great chapter in my life. Someone very dear and close to my heart, left Bahrain today.  A mentor, a Chinese Martial Art Master (even though she doesn’t like to be referred to as such), a mother, a friend, and a role model. Shao Nian Bates, her Chinese name means: “Youngster”, and in the Chinese culture the name is strongly linked to being a traveler to all 4 corners of the world. A name that she carries well, since she has been to all 4 corners of the world, physically and metaphorically.

 

I have known Shao after I moved to Bahrain and since then her presence in my life has been vital. I saw her every morning at 6am, we trained together, we drank tea together, we told each other stories, we ate together, we watched people joining the studio and witnessed them leave, and today I, here alone, am witnessing HER departure.

Every time I was sick, she would rush to her kitchen, prepare some kind of herbal tea, warn me of how sour and undrinkable it is, then hands it to me, while telling me all about the benefits of the herbs in it. Every time I told her things that were bothering me, she would tell me a story similar to mine, and give me, unintentionally, an example to follow. Every time I wanted to learn a new form she would tell me that I didn’t need to, and that I have learned enough, yet she would cave in, and teach me some more. Some mornings she would tell me that I looked beautiful in whichever color I was wearing, some other days she would say: “Hmm those colors don’t look good together”, yes she was brutal like this, she would never say something unless she means it 100%. The first day I met her she almost sounded rude to me, but the force led me to go again and again and again, and every time I sat with her, and learned about her, I loved her even more. Then she gave me a book she wrote about her life, and that was the turning point in our relationship! A woman who served in General Mao’s camps, who found her way into learning a new language and even writing in that new language, she did the unthinkable and left China, she faced life’s hardships in bulks, not one or two, like me and you, but way more than what one can handle in a lifetime. She built houses and businesses, she traveled around the world, met many many interesting people. She experienced the other side of the pink rosy world, she lost money, friends, family, and survived it all quietly and humbly.

When I met her I was 21 years old, a little girl, who knew nothing about life. I looked at her with wide eyes and a dropped jaw every time she told a story. To me she was the most interesting person I have met in my whole life, 10 years later, she still is! Now I wonder whether the universe has sent her my way to teach and guide me in a time when I knew nothing, and now that I have seen, lived and experienced a little more, it was time for her to leave. Now that I have matured enough to be able to live on my own, it was time for her to move, and probably go nurture another soul somewhere else.

 

What always impresses me in this magnificent woman, is that even though she is 70 years old, not a minute goes by where she isn’t learning a new thing. Her moto in life is: “if they can do it, I too can do it”. She lived and still lives her life to the fullest, she doesn’t waste a minute worrying about life, or entertaining any negative energy, or simply doing nothing.

We went to many breakfasts, lunches and dinners, we laughed and cried, we talked freely and openly about anything and everything. She was my companion, more than she was my teacher. We celebrated birthdays, Eids, house-warming parties, Ramadans, and many more events together. We also shared a passion together, which is taking pictures! Boy did we take pictures! She is the kind of person, to whom you can tell your deepest, darkest secret to, and she would just sit there looking, listening and simply fully present. She took care of everyone, she knew what everyone liked and what they didn’t like, she was a mother to all!

 

We both shared the same Chinese horoscope: Tiger, and we were very similar in so many ways. We are both fierce, stubborn, faithful, and honest. We both loved tea and drank tons of it. We both loved reading. So some mornings, instead of training, we would just sit, drink tea, and talk about books.

 

We both experienced life’s ups and downs together, we both made mistakes together, we both saw how life can unfold. She knew me as a little girl, and now she is leaving a strong, woman behind, a wife, and a mother.

 

In the 31 years that I have lived, I have been blessed with many motherly figures in my life, beside my wonderful mama. I have shared and connected with many older women, and learned so much from them. I always became friends with my friends’ mothers, and that’s because I have an old soul, yet somehow they all seem to vanish and disappear at some point of my life. Somehow it is as if they are on a mission, and once the mission is done, they leave. I have said way too many goodbyes in my life, and somehow I got so used to the idea that all the people I meet come into my life for a purpose, and once it’s done, they will leave. Seeing friends leave is always sad, and even though I truly believe that the universe always has a plan for you, yet this time, it’s a bit harder and a little more life changing. I am not only saying goodbye to a friend, I am closing a whole chapter in my life, and getting ready to open a new one.

 

So to Shao: You are taking a piece of my soul with you, I know that we will meet again, if it is not in this life, then in the next one. I will not promise to send you emails and pictures, updating you with what’s new every once in a while, simply because I know that won’t happen, yet I promise you that in my heart you will always have a beautiful, and very special place.

From Ouiam with Love…..

Thyroid 101 -Part 1-

Last week I made an appointment with a doctor to check up my thyroid levels, something I do about twice a year, since I have stopped taking medicine – I have had a hypothyroid for the last 18 years, and have been on Levothyroxine, until a couple years ago, when I got myself into the right lifestyle, made tons of research and learnt more about my condition and how to bio hack my own body, here is a little post I wrote about how I managed to get off medicine, last year. If you know me, you would definitely know that I don’t necessarily hold a soft spot on my heart for doctors….! I would never go see one unless I REALLY have to, for something major. I do however go twice a year to an endocrinologist to ask for some blood work. I know what I am looking for exactly, so I ask him to prescribe specific blood tests, I do the blood work, ask for the results to be emailed to me and that’s it. This time the endocrinologist I usually go to (who is fairly good, listens to me and tries his best to have a more holistic view that fits me and my philosophy), this doctor was on leave so I did a random google search, and came up with a random name. I figured since I only need specific blood tests that I can ask for, it should be fine. So I go to see this doctor, I tell him about my history with my hypothyroid, and I ask him for the following tests:

TSH

T3

T4

RT3

Antibodies

Iodine

And as I am getting ready to say my last required test (Vitamin D), he interrupts me, saying one word, that leaves me astonished! He said: “NO”!!!

Yes, he actually said NO!! he refused to write down those tests I have asked for, and said that a simple TSH blood test would be more than enough. He actually even had the guts to tell me that this was “ancient medicine” and that no one does those tests anymore! I really couldn’t wrap my head around what was going on! What the heck?!! I have lived with my Hypothyroid for the last 18 years! I have Hashimoto’s thyroiditis disease- which is actually an autoimmune disease- so how is testing for antibodies ancient medicine when it’s an autoimmune disease that we are talking about?!!! I tried to be as kind as I could (and believe me it wasn’t an easy task; no one wants to deal with an arrogant doctor!!) I thanked him for his opinion, and said that I would be more comfortable if he did write those specific tests for me….He still refused! It’s not as if he were to pay from his own pocket, and even if he was worried about my own pocket, he knew that my insurance will cover the costs, so why not!???? I knew then that our conversation was hopeless, so I thanked him for his time and left his office swearing that I NEEDED to write another post about Thyroid, inflammation and hormones, so women who also suffer from their thyroid malfunction can understand their conditions better, and know exactly what they need to deal with in order to have a normal life. So today I will start a mini-series of posts about the Thyroid gland, how it works, how to fix the root problem and not just the symptoms, and how to have a normal life even with a malfunctioning thyroid.

 

Usually whenever you go to see an endocrinologist, for anything related to your thyroid, they would ask for a TSH blood test.  TSH (Thyroid Stimulating Hormone) blood test is used to check for thyroid gland problems. TSH is produced when the hypothalamus releases a substance called thyrotropin-releasing hormone (TRH). TRH then triggers the pituitary gland to release TSH. TSH causes the thyroid gland to make two hormones: triiodothyronine (T3) and thyroxine (T4). T3 and T4 help control your body’s metabolism. In other terms, it is the hormone that tells the Thyroid gland that it should work (less or more depending on the body’s needs). Now let’s see how it works:

T3 and T4 are needed for normal growth of the brain, especially during the first 3 years of life. A baby whose thyroid gland does not make enough thyroid hormone (congenital hypothyroidism) may, in severe cases, be mentally retarded. Older children also need thyroid hormones to grow and develop normally. Now that we know these two essential hormones, let’s talk about how they function in our body:

 

The function of the thyroid gland is to take iodine found in many foods, and convert it into thyroid hormones: T4 and T3. Thyroid cells are the only cells in the body which can absorb iodine. These cells combine iodine and the amino acid tyrosine to make T3 and T4. T3 and T4 are then released into the blood stream and are transported throughout the body, where they control metabolism (conversion of oxygen and calories to energy).

Every cell in the body depends upon thyroid hormones for regulation of their metabolism. The normal thyroid gland produces about 80% T4 and about 20% T3, however, T3 possesses about four times the hormone “strength” as T4. So while a very small amount of T3 is produced by the Thyroid gland, the rest of the T3 is produced in a different way. The liver finishes up the thyroid gland’s job, by converting T4 to T3. However, in order to convert T4 to T3, the enzyme 5’- Deiodinase is required, and to activate this enzyme some minerals are needed such as: Selenium.

 

So, in order to determine if you have a functioning Thyroid gland or not, the process is much more complex than just having ONE blood test done. And that’s JUST the Thyroid itself, without even talking about Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, which is an autoimmune disease, and needs many other tests to detect it, other than the famous TSH blood test.

 

In my next post we will talk in details about Hashimoto, and other autoimmune disease related to the Thyroid gland, then on a third post I will be talking about how nutrition CAN reverse many autoimmune diseases if done right.

 

Almost 90% of the women I know are suffering silently from a hypothyroid, which is a disease that sucks life out of you, and turns you into someone you don’t want to be. It is strongly linked to depression, Lupus, infertility, and many other autoimmune diseases. While doctors only want to cover the symptoms by prescribing a synthetic version of T4 (such as Levothyroxine), the inflammation will still be there destroying every ounce of your thyroid gland, then move to destroy other vital organs. And if your liver isn’t doing a good job converting T4 into T3, you will still have a malfunctioning Thyroid gland even if you are taking your prescribed medicine. Therefore, it is crucial to fix the underlying problem rather than treating the symptoms only.

Stay tuned for Thyroid 101 (Part 2)

 

Ouiam

 

Nagging With Style!

 

 

 

Hello friends, so it has been a while right? Life has been FULL, isn’t it always full though? It’s crazy how no matter how you think you can balance it all, you always have to cave in, and admit defeat since the day is only 24hours long, and you will never ever get a minute extra!

 

So today I would like to talk about a very important topic, a topic that we- mamas- talk about a lot, especially on those rare girls’ nights out, that we get to have, once every blue moon; where we seem to take every opportunity we land on to exchange funny stories about all the crazy things our husbands do, and let’s face it we all have at least one of these stories that usually end up with some serious eye rolling and a bit of tongue twisting. Yes we laugh at each other’s husbands, and we all yell in solidarity with each other: “What the hell do they know…these husbands!?” and we leave at the end of the night a little more lighter and a little less bitter about those same stories we joked about; however, those stories and many many more happen on daily basis, we always have something to complain about when it comes to our significant others, and that’s exactly what I want to talk about today.

 

No one starts a marriage thinking of the hard times this same marriage is gonna go through, no one starts thinking about all the downs that will face this union, no one thinks about the natural, and inevitable consequences of living together under the same roof and leading the same hectic, stressful, unkind life we all live nowadays. We only think of the romance and the passion that usually and in most marriages fade after few years or after having the first baby, for the very simple reason: Life happens!!! We get busy, we get caught in the dark web of life’s excruciating demands, and we forget that there is a little seed that we need to nurture and keep close to our hearts, for the many years to come.

 

In a marriage, when you know a person inside out, and you know their weaknesses and their strengths, their perception of themselves and the way they like to be, their soft spots and their multiple selves, isn’t it enough data to embrace that human being fully and acknowledge their presence in your life just the way it is? The way they are and not the way you want them to be? Isn’t it enough to pass through and beyond the little details, such as who did not take the trash out last night and who left the front door open or who lost the only existing house key..? The answer might surprise you indeed!

 

I would like to think of it as an invitation to experience and test each other’s humorous side. What if we turned every fight and each argument into jokes? Just like we joke about them days later with girlfriends. Why don’t we try to find the funny side instead of calling out every dark thought we could get our “hands” on? What if we make that wicked, evil, irresponsible, forgetful husband of yours burst into a fit of laughter with each and every complaint you blurt out? Are you reading these last few lines out loud wondering what has happened to my sanity? Well it’s very simple: Humor is a very powerful tool that if used right can get you anywhere you want, in a very relaxing and fun way, so why not take advantage of that? Why not take at least one burden off your shoulders and deal with the biggest source of stress in our lives so lightly, softly and in a way that will definitely have a positive outcome for both parties: Husbands aaaand wives?!!

 

 

Life already does surprise us with few slaps in the face every now and then, and that to me is enough stress and discomfort any one should deal with. So when we don’t really take ourselves and each other so seriously, and let room for some fun and laughter, we discover a new level of satisfaction and fulfilment, of understanding and contentment.

 

So ladies, roll your sleeves up, and show those other halves of yours how women can crack jokes about that forgotten trash, that unfixed light bulb, those groceries that were never done and all those little things on the list that were never checked….Never done! Take a moment to breath and to remember that those little things are not the essence of your life together, they are not the true meaning of your story. Just breath and make fun of each other and make some space for all the new wrinkles on both your faces, from all the laughing you will be doing, that will mark a new start, and a completely different level, in your holy bond.

 

Ouiam

Lost In Germany….

Last May, I did something quite crazy, something not everyone will be able to do, especially with a toddler onboard. I planned a trip, following Google’s advice and my instinct. I looked up “Small villages in Germany” and randomly chose one, then I booked the first house that popped up in my feed, and booked my tickets. Just me and my 3 years old. My desire to immerse myself in nature was growing day by day, and I was daydreaming about a trip where all we can do is contemplate the breathtakingly gorgeous sceneries. It wasn’t really hard to choose a country with the above descriptions; Germany is one of my very favorite countries, The Country of Poets and Thinkers, as it was being called once.
 

While there,  it really seemed like I have left the planet earth and showed up somewhere where social epidemics haven’t yet found place. Somewhere in the state of Bavaria in Germany, a tiny little town, about a handful of houses and a park (of course, parks in this part of the world are more important than anything else!), I am not even sure if I should call where I was, a “little town”, the closest supermarket, shops, or any sign of civilization was 15 km away (which is also a little town called “Schöllkrippen”). Mostly old couples live there, surrounded by all kind of greens, nature and friendly neighbors- sheep, goats, dogs and cats- Few young people too. Since we landed in this forgotten peace of heaven, Adam and I have been experiencing all kinds of human interactions that were not possible elsewhere. When we first arrived we were greeted at every corner, we were offered rides and food, we were treated like part of the family from people whom we have never seen before, from people we don’t even share the same language with! People have showered us with kindness and compassion since the day we stepped foot in there, and I simply wonder how come this only exists there? This has made me think of all the times reckless drivers shouted and raised hands that I could see from my mirror while driving, or those times when neighbors passed by and omitted to say hello, or the times family and friends have failed to show the human side in them, and I ask myself how come? Why we lost that human side in us that made us joyful, peaceful and simple! It also made me think of that specific time in an airport where I was helping a random guy get his luggage from one of those famous airport luggage belts (you know what I mean, those ones where if you don’t get your bag from the first round you start experiencing a mini heart attack, and are bound to wait in queues for hours!!!), and he came shouting, and waving his big bulky hand:” THIS IS MY BAG!”!!!!!!  Of course it is yours, idiot, I am just helping you! It made me think of countless encounters I had before of human beings being so far away from humanity, times where kindness has become a distant memory only few of us can remember. The people in this tiny town obviously opted for another philosophy in life, one that was too rare to even be named or studied. One that was the epitome of kindness, compassion and love.

 

 

What is it that has spoiled and ruined the human race this much, and left it pretty much inhuman? What is it that makes people kill innocent people, judge them, feel superior to them or even be insensitive to their existence?

 

If you say technology, it is wrong! Because each one of the people in this little tiny town, has their smart phones, laptops and TVs lined up in front of them (or in their living rooms), so it must be something else.

 

Whatever their secrete is, it is working! People in that little town are not disconnected from their surroundings even with the existence of phones and TVs. People there crave the social interaction as we- in my part of the world- crave the social media. These people are open and tolerant, they are present and mindful. I find it hard to believe that with the lifestyle we live we are able to find the essence of humanity anywhere. Husbands and wives busy with their phones, kids busy with their electronics and neighbors busy ignoring their neighbors. Somewhere along the journey we have all lost our purity and innocence, even with the best intentions, we are transformed with others’ rudeness and disconnection from whoever we want to be to whatever we are now.

 

Where I was, no one sits alone in a café, random people show up and ask if they can sit with you! So you don’t have to sit all alone! You will never be or feel alone even though the population of this tinniest city is one tenth of any normal sized city, while in big cities like where I live, you will be sitting in a table with 10 other people you know very well, and you will be hiding behind a screen, you might even not notice if someone leaves or comes! And this is my friends, one of the biggest losses the humanity has ever suffered from!

 

I am so very thankful and blessed that the universe has sent me to this unbelievably rich little town, to relearn what is the purpose of being human and how to be human in an era of disconnection and impurity.


PS: Those gorgeous pictures were taken by the very talented Jessica Elm in Germany.

Instagram: @jessicaelmphotography

Ouiam

She Did IT, And So Can You!!

 

 

Today’s post is a little different, it is something that I have been planning to do for a while, but life has so many ways of distracting you, I guess….

 

PS: This is NOT  a sponsored post!!!

 

As part of my efforts to support and encourage women who own, operate, and manage their small businesses, I have decided to pick a business each month and introduce the steel woman behind it. This month I have chosen a business that I have personally dealt with. When Adam turned one, it was something that needed to be celebrated! Not only because of the major milestone Adam just achieved, but also because of all what we have accomplished as parents, me and my husband. We felt so proud of all the things we have done the previous year, even though many many times throughout the journey, we were not even sure that we will ever get there. So a big birthday party was called for. Technically I love organising and taking care of all parties we host, but I was already a walking zombie, operating on too much caffeine and very little sleep. My plate was too full to take any more tasks. I came a cross DE PARTY DESIGNS on Facebook (aka google for moms), I contacted Dilu, who has replied promptly, with all the needed details, she also came over to discuss with me how I wanted this party to be like. After explaining to her what I envisaged for my son’s first birthday party,  I just waited anxiously for the final product. The party was a total success, without me going bankrupt, if you are wondering. The fees were very reasonable and totally worth it.


2 years later, I really want to introduce this very motivated, strong and successful woman to every mama reading my blog. To be an example and to also be a reference if you ever need a fabulous party but you have no time or energy to plan it 😉

 

Here is a little chat Dilu and I, had and we would like to share it with you:

Dilu: “I am a mother of 3 beautiful kids who are aged 16, 12 and 9 years. I moved to Bahrain 10 years ago, with my husband’s new job assignment; leaving behind my family and my career which I have been doing for 12 long years. I always believed that family should always stick together, wherever you go or whatever challenges you face in life, so of course I had to follow my husband.

Me: What did you do before Departydesigns?

I used to work in a garment / fabric buying office as a merchandiser and freelance Interior Designer.

How did you start Departydesigns?

After moving to Bahrain I used to work as a freelance Interior Designer, and I started my own page called: D Decor Homes, while writing articles for Interior Design websites like: Look4Design and Amazing Interior Design. With the passion for designing I knew I needed to do something more, something new and not very common in Bahrain. With this idea, I started De Party Designs, and started introducing Candy Table concept, with personalisation, for all the parties, mainly birthday parties, baby showers, bridal showers …etc, going out of the box to create something new every time.

 

 What motivates you to do better every time?

Each and everyday I learn something new from my mistakes, and I want to make it better the next time. The recognition and appreciation towards my work, from people of Bahrain, make me do better and better every time.

 

Was it easy to start a business in Bahrain?

From the beginning I didn’t have any idea of how to start or from where to begin. But as always Bahrain and its people have been amazing to us, and have helped me by providing all the details on how to start up as a home based business, and then make it legalised as another step forward.

 

How do you balance work and family?

I’ve got three amazing independent kids whom have learnt to do most of their work on their own, and always help me to take my work stress out. Also my husband has been immensely helpful in both house-work and my work. He has been the fundamental help, for me to come this far. Even though I am a workaholic, I always make sure we both have plenty of time for our kids, specially towards their education. I also always make sure that I do not go beyond my limits, accepting events due to two reasons, One is : if it interferes with my personal life and my time with my family and kids. Second: I strongly believe whatever I do, I have to do it right and I should not accept many events just for the sake of money. If I can’t have enough time to prepare and deliver something great then there is no way I will commit.

 

What are your plans for the next 5-10 years?

I would love to explore and learn more about different areas and fields of events in Bahrain, as well as in the GCC. At the moment I am looking for more options for expanding my business. At the same time, I love studying about event management in different categories and I will be spending more time on that in the coming years.

 

 What will your advice be for women who would like to start their own business.

I believe if you have a passion for anything you should not hold it back. You need to come out and seek for possibilities of making it work. After living in Bahrain for many years, I have learnt that this is a beautiful country with beautiful people, who are always willing to help and lend you a hand to stand on your own feet. Go out and explore….!!!

 

 

Thank you Dilu for your time and for all the insights and advice!




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Ouiam