What’s On Her Mind: In-Laws…..

  
 Hello my dear friends! And welcome to yet another exciting and beautiful story from another amazing Mama. A very brave one! Who taccled a very sensitive topic today! I leave you with Miss.H’s words of wisdom!! 

In-laws 

When you get married -in our arabic society- it also means that you married the In-laws! A blessing? Yeah sure …. Sometimes! A curse? Probably… When you are under the same roof.

Living with your family in law is absolutely no piece of cake, they can be the kindest and sweetest people, yet at the same time always scrutinising and criticising every move you make. Somehow you need to become the Queen of wonderland! Otherwise you just won’t make it! 

In the first few months, sure you will be shy and blush at every comment; however after five years -24/7- under the same roof, things are not cute anymore, and get a bit ugly for the silliest reasons! It is difficult, but you have to let go, for the sake of a peaceful life. I am not saying that you shouldn’t love them! Once you are married to their son, you need to embrace them, and take them as your own! But you need to have your own routine! You need to be the one in charge of raising your children! You need your privacy with your husband away from intruders!   

 From my personal experience, the more space you keep between you and your in laws, the better it is for everyone! They will respect and love you more. Sometimes I really feel blessed to have them around, especially when I am sick and my husband is traveling. Or when they throw a huge birthday party for my kids, and invite over 300 member of the family just to celebrate it. Yet some other times, I just want to be alone, be lazy in my pyjamas the whole day without even brushing my hair, and I sure deserve to have similar days! 
 

Well i think it is both, a blessing and a curse at the same time. You will just have to balance the feelings, have a positive attitude, and mostly be yourself ….. The loving wife, the caring mother and the sweet daughter in law. My in laws define me as a sweet and sour girl, and they couldn’t say it any better! 

Miss.H

Do You Remember….?

  
Do you remember… ?! 

The heart skipping a beat, the butterflies in the stomach, the state of euphoria….

When you first met him, when your eyes first met his gaze, and you felt cold, then hot, then cold again! You passed your hand through your hair just to show everyone how nonchalant, indifferent, calm and casual you were… 

Those nights when you kept wondering how he felt?! And secretly hoped that he felt the same… And blushed when you secretly realised what you hoped for…

When you finally had the courage to tell yourself the secret that has been lingering around for some time! And felt happy and content knowing that you finally came out of the closet! The indifference closet… 

When you knew that one day you will be his, yet you didn’t know how you knew… 

And the day came, with the rush of adrenaline, the tears, the hands and lips shaking, the not so gentle butterflies this time, the feeling that nothing else exists anymore…. You can’t remember anymore, because those seconds felt like years and years. Him coming down the aisle….. (Because in Arabic weddings he does, not the bride)! 
You wanted to cry but you didn’t want to spoil your makeup! You wanted to do a little victory dance but you couldn’t risk the guests thinking you were a little too crazy! You wanted to press the pause button but you didn’t really want to! 
Do you remember now….?! 

Actually dear reader, I would like to apologise for misleading you. I never meant to use the pronoun “you”, I was talking about me. Me and the love of my life… My husband! 

Sometimes I don’t remember any of that, because I am tired or I am busy or I am just not in the mood. Because I focus more on him being my big spoon, my foot warmer, the place I lay my head at night. The hand I reach for when I cross the street, the eyes I look at during the saddest and the funniest parts of movies, the side I nudge when we find secrete humour in an ordinary thing! The partner in crime, the food taster, the IT man….! 

Some other times, While I am stirring the food, or picking up the milk from the fridge, or just getting into my car, a wave of memories showers me. I stop for a second, with the widest smile… I feel my heart skipping a beat. I feel the butterflies in my stomach. I get into that same state of euphoria ….! So yes I still remember, I still go there when I need to, I still remember … Yes I do… 
Ouiam 

When My Husband Says….

      

When my husband says: “Take the rest of the day off, I’ll babysit”, I hear little bells ringing in my ears, i see little stars glowing and sparkling in front of my eyes, i see a little unicorn on my shoulder winking at me! And of course with the most excited tone i say – if not scream- : Yeeees!! While doing my happy dance! If you think that’s too much and i am probably exaggerating, then you certainly aren’t a full time mama lol! 

Usually i hear this magical phrase once or twice a week, and it only means one thing! I am finally getting some “Me Time”

No matter how much I enjoy my time with my little man, doing mummy stuff all day long, I still crave for some “Me” time, it is just essential for my sanity. In order to take care of my son, husband and home, I first need to take care of the woman I am! This “ME” time can be anything, from a nap to a trip to the salon for a mani-pedi, or the hair salon, a massage or coffee with a friend or hitting the gym or just some quiet time in my room reading and writing! I try to plan these few hours very carefully, so I get to do most of the things above at once. 

While I enjoy my time off, Adam and his dad, have some fun of their own. It is incredibly amazing to see these two, doing their own thing! My husband brings another side of my little baby that I usually can’t even see. Most of my time with Adam is spent in doing educational stuff, fun yes, but mostly educational, while when he is with his dad, they do silly stuff together, things that I can never even imagine lol. My husband is such a great father and I am extremely grateful for that! It came to him instantly after I gave birth that i was almost jealous! He was always good with kids but I never saw him with babies; so when we first had Adam, I was pleasantly surprised to see how amazing he was! I don’t know what is more fascinating: Seeing Adam with his dad, or seeing my husband with his son?! It just warms my heart, and fills me with this deep sense of gratitude and happiness! 

So today was one of those magical days, when i get to have some time for myself! I first headed to the gym for a class called “Abdominal Blast” at Equilibrium Amwaj (recently opened and i am loving it so far), then to the hair salon: Toni & Guy Bahrain, my favourite in the island! I only book appointments with “Liesel”, she is fantastic and super talented! And I had to finish this glamorous afternoon, with a stop at Starbucks, where I could finish my book peacefully! (A wonderful book that I can’t wait to share all about it in my “Happy Reading” post next month). Then it was time to go back to my mommy duties all fresh, full of energy and ready for new adventures with my little man and his dad!  

How about you? How do you balance between your needs and your children’s? What do you usually do in your “ME” time? Feel free to share your story! 

Ouiam 

A Date Night, Unlike others!!

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When I got pregnant, almost two years ago, it was the most amazing thing ever! We were so excited and over the moon to bring a tiny human being to the world. I wanted my pregnancy to be calm quiet and Zen, my mornings and evenings were filled with Taichi classes and Qigong ( a form of Chinese Meditation). I stopped drinking Tea and coffee, water was enough for me. I would go for long walks and listen to a lot of relaxation music ( Margot Reisinger, Steven Halpern… Etc), i went to hypnobirthing classes and read tons of books about the subject. We slowed down with our lives and chose to focus on things that mattered to us then. We still went out for dinners and lunches but not as often as we once did. Then when finally Adam arrived! Our focus shifted and our priorities changed! We were both very committed to bringing up this child in the most loving caring and nurturing home. We were both so busy being parents, or to be exact, figuring out how to be parents, that we hardly had time to do anything alone without Adam. We both were aware of this, but there was not much we could do, really, between feeding Adam, putting him to sleep, playing with him, taking him for walks, bathing him… Etc. we really had no time for us.

The first couple of months were really hectic, but then with days passing by, we learned more about this little bundle of joy in our arms, and we were getting better at this parenting thing. Still, we couldn’t leave Adam with anyone to go for dates (we kind of have separation anxiety when it comes to this little peanut), Yet, I thought we could have our dates here at the coziness of our home! I always loved making : food/ Tables/ buffets, look pretty. I enjoy decorating plates and tables and I thought why not make use of this gift and get us the dates we were both longing for, without having to leave our home or our baby.

So today I will share some of my ideas to make a date at home as fabulous as the one you’ll have in a fancy 5 stars restaurant. As the picture below shows,  you will need very basic and simple things such as:

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  • A pillow cover : to cover the back of the chair and add a touch of glam to it
  • Few printed pictures that I used as menus (i wrote at the back of the pictures)
  • Plenty of candles (really cheap and you can find them anywhere)
  • Rose petals
  • Few ribbons ( whenever I unwrap gifts I keep the decoration and the ribbons for occasions like these)
  • Food ( you can get a takeout or cook a simple easy dish, check my Thank God It’s Friday posts)
  • Some cool music
  • Get dressed and put some makeup on.

And that’s it!! You can enjoy your date night at home, with the monitor beside you, just in case the little one decides to join the party lol.

Here below, you can check some other ideas from lunches/dinners that I have had at home with guests. You can use the tips for your next date night!

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I speak for myself, but I am positive so many parents would agree with me. Once you have a baby, your marriage becomes vulnerable, and if you do not go the extra mile to reinforce it, only you will suffer! I do realize that it is extremely hard to keep a hand over everything, but we can always try! Work harder as husband and wife to make this union stronger and healthier. And date nights are just a simple way of doing it!

Hope you have enjoyed today’s post and liked my ideas! Talk soon xx

Ouiam

Who We Marry?

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Who we marry? Do we really know? How can we know? We make this decision based on what we knew, what we saw and what we felt, based on the past, however, we all change, grow, evolve and only the future can tell, can show us who we married!

Marriage is far more than few pictures on Instagram or Facebook, with smiles, hugs and kisses. It is far from the fairytales and novels. Yes!! Who wouldn’t want to only share their beautiful moments, after all we all love to shine and sparkle and sprinkle our happy bits and pieces. To me, marriage is way more than that! Marriage is a journey that begins with a decision you and your partner take, then transforms into this roller-coaster ride, with ups and downs, milestones and hiccups. And it is really your call to make it an enjoyable, meaningful and long lasting one. Life is full of challenges and hardships, and your partner is the person whom will accompany you through them all. It is crazy and very hard to comprehend that once you are married, you kind of become one person yet you can never be one! You are two different people, with different everything really. Most people get married because they are trapped in this beautiful labyrinth of love and passion, which is the most amazing thing. However, with the years, when you have seen it all, when the newness goes away and life gets harder, you are left with each other. Your partner is the person who will hold your hand and give you a shoulder to cry on when you need it. It is the person who knows all your weirdness and not only accepts it but understands it. It is the person who has seen your good, bad and ugly and still loves you unconditionally. It is the person you want to grow older with, the person you want to share the parenthood journey with, the person you want your children to resemble to, the person who appreciates you and knows your limits, the person you want to lose people with and grieve with, the person you want to grow closer to rather than apart.

I was very blessed and lucky to find this person, the person who gets me, who accepts me the way I am, who makes me see the little things, who makes me slow down and enjoy the nows. Who makes me ME! And I am so grateful that a decision I took in my very early twenties, will be a gift for my thirties, forties and so on.

When you move on from being just a couple to being parents and you see your partner as a father to your children, to the pieces of your soul and heart, when you see how much he loves them and cares for them. You then have seen it all! You then have it all ! When I see my husband with my son, my heart bursts from happiness and love. It is a new kind of love. A love that only this person can give me. A love that defines me, that empowers me, that makes me the woman and the mother I am today.

Marriage is a union that makes you whole; not always pink and flowery yet always strong and powerful. Marriage is a bunch of every days, of little details, of things that are so tiny but so big at the same time.

Ouiam

10 things i do that piss my husband off ;)

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Before I start right into this, I feel I need to address my husband first:

Honey, I know you love me very much and  I also know that sometimes i display bizarre and downright crazy tendencies that drive you crazy, everyone has their own little weird traits that grind away their partners, family and friends. However admitting it should give me some credit 😉

So here is my list:

  1. A steamy bathroom; whenever I take a shower, I first have to turn the hot water on for about 10 minutes then I get into the shower, as a result, you obviously can’t see a thing for about few hours, the toilet paper is all crumpled and useless, ooh and of course no hot water lol (sorry)
  2. I am completely and perfectly aware of how I can never seem to close any of the drawers or cupboards I open ( you can’t possibly blame me for that, I simply forget)
  3. I know how annoying I must be whenever we are at home, in our living room, at any given time, the minute you’ll stand up, I would ask you straight away “where are you going?” Daaaah I am at home where will I be going? I feel this is what you always want to tell me, but you are sweet enough to just ignore my question and instead reply : “ I will be right back” lol
  4. I am not the only woman on earth who does this, whenever we are watching a movie for the first time, I keep on asking questions about the movie as if you have watched it before!! Whaaaat!!! Ooh well you actually should be flattered, because somehow, I just assume you are smarter than I am and that you got some kind of secrete hint that I missed! Easy right?!
  5. Whenever we go to sleep, I spend an extra hour reading on my kindle, with a minimum light on, but I know how sensitive you are to any kind of lights when you want to sleep, so for that, I love you forever!
  6. This one is my favorite so far! How out of nowhere I will just turn to you and ask you: “So?” I totally get you when you give me the silliest answers ever, but it did serve the purpose right? We had a small tiny conversation woohaaa!
  7. This is no mystery, you knew it way before we got married, I just cannot stop talking, I am a woman so it is THE most natural thing ever.
  8. This is actually funny, myself, I can’t understand how I always ask you: how is your food, before you even take your first bite!! Alright I promise you, I will work on this!
  9. I always put perfume on, inside the car with the windows closed ( my bad I always remember too late)
  10. Every single night after I put the little peanut down for the night, I come back downstairs and switch off all the lights in the house along with the air conditioning. No, I am not a cave woman but I do enjoy darkness, silence and warm weather, I am a mom!

I am sure there is more to this, but let us just agree that we are done here 😉

So here, Thank you my very sweet husband for your tolerance and patience, I wanted you to know that I am aware of this list, yet I am not sure anything will ever change, Thank you again, you are the best!!

If any of you ladies out there, share one or two things from this list with me, please let me know, it will make me the happiest to know that I am not alone! Thank you!

Ouiam