When I first became a mother, I was the first friend in my gang who had a child. Most of my other friends weren’t even married or even in a serious relationship. I was also in a foreign country, with no family to lean on for help and support. In that glorious haze of continuous feeding, burping, changing, and putting baby to sleep kind of cycle, I was a complete zombie… I was trying to figure out what kind of mother I am. I didn’t know how things were “supposed” to be done, and even though I read a lot of parenting books, articles, blogs, I still wasn’t sure how I will mother my baby!
I was lucky enough to meet two very inspiring ladies whom I am incredibly lucky to call my friends, and to whom I would be forever grateful. Through them, and without them ever intending to teach me, I learnt so much –I still do everyday! – They both are completely different and both use completely different approaches when it comes to parenting, and that’s the beauty of it all! They do it almost effortlessly and most importantly they do it shamelessly. They tend to their babies the way they feel comfortable and safe, without caring about how society will label them – Helicopter mom vs. chilled mom-
Being a mom is a never-ending, perfect mixture of guilt and second-guessing yourself constantly, and when you throw society in this already not so pleasurable mix, you get a recipe for disaster! Being seen and judged for overdoing it –as a mom, or underdoing it for that matter, isn’t cool at all. My absolute favorite mantra of all times is: You do you, and I do me, and we all win!
Throughout my motherhood journey I can safely say that I have been both! I have been a helicopter mom, as well as a super chilled one, depending of the situation. And I am so damn proud of it! If I decide that I am going to stick around in the park and tell off that annoying kid trying to violently push my son on the slide, then Hell YEAH! And if I decide that we are going to walk barefoot today and connect with nature, or just the concrete … then Yes I will! Again I do me, and you do you! -and before the internet patrol jumps on me, there is nothing wrong with any of the examples above, they are JUST examples, K?!
Society takes pleasure in labeling every single thing, whether you like it or not, and people enjoy throwing unwanted, and unsolicited comments/advices whenever they get a chance. This is just how things are, it doesn’t make anything right or wrong, it just exists… kind of like wrapping paper lol, you wrap the gift just so that the person receiving it unwraps it!
You don’t have to be this or that, it is a matter of “pick and choose”, lots of trial and error, and when you finally find what works for you, don’t be apologetic about it. Whether you are a helicopter mom or not, this is what works for you, and your family, who gives a hoot what others might think!