The Wisdom Of White Papers

Do you remember when you were little? Do you remember how much you knew, how much you trusted, how much you loved, how much you laughed and how much you cried? Of course you do!  Because those were the days you were still close to the doors of knowing… The doors of miracles and mystery.

Everyone says children are born like white papers, and it is our duty as parents to fill those papers with whatever they need to grow up. We teach them to talk, read, write, and to become successful in life; But did anyone try to learn things from those little minds instead of teaching them?

As a kid I believed in clouds and rainbows, I believed I was brave enough to conquer the world, to fly and to be free.  I also seriously believed that I had a hidden talent in understanding animal’s language.. Yes I did. I stayed hours with cats having conversations about life and death. I believed there was always a secrete door, I just needed to look for it harder, I believed I was strong enough to face the world. Suddenly all this believing stopped .. and I grew up! I learned to be afraid of tomorrow, and to never trust strangers, to doubt my own capabilities and skills and to stop asking questions. Yet they say growing up is the best part of life! We grow up and forget the best things we ever knew. We grow up to become boring and scared. We lose our simple selves and become a complicated work in progress. And even though we all secretly know this and long for the days we ran barefoot and laughed at silly jokes, we never  really admit it. We even help our kids grow up and we take them far, far away from that door of knowing and of miracles!

 

Why can’t we let our kids guide us, and show us the way again? Why can’t we learn from them to love and believe in each other again? Why don’t we let them teach us to laugh when we feel like it and to cry when we are sad? Why don’t we stop and look at the stars when they do? Why don’t we look at simple things and be amazed by them again?

 

I think we will learn greatly if we did!

 

Ouiam

 

Hey Kid, Wanna Get Bored..? 

  

Growing up I always hated Sundays, because there weren’t much for me to do! We only had a one-day  weekend (Saturday was a school day too). I would wander aimlessly around the house, complaining about how bored I was. My mom would try to come up with cool things for me to do, but you know how it is at that age, nothing our parents can suggest would ever seem cool enough for us, so of course I would brush away whatever suggestion she had for me, and start brainstorming till my ” Eureka” moment comes and saves the day. Now when I look back at these -then- boring Sundays, I see nothing that suggests boredom at all, everything about my childhood Sundays scream creativity and originality! In those Sundays, I learnt how to knit, how to cook (at a relatively young age), how to sew, how to enjoy and admire the skies and clouds, how to keep a journal…. And the list is very long! 

I talk about this now, because recently I have been thinking about how busy our lives are getting. How every single day we have to have something planned for the day to keep ourselves busy! I run a mommy group, and I plan playdates weekly, I also try to plan meet-ups with friends who have kids Adam’s age, so we can all have fun together. We go for walks and to the beach to collect rocks and work with them later. We work on our Montessori activites an hour a day everyday. We read books and stories. So basically we are never bored! Which is exciting and so much fun, however it kind of scares me a little. You see when I was a kid, and I was bored, I had NOTHING to keep me busy, nothing at all! So I had to come up with ideas myself! Yet now, even if we are doing nothing, we have boxes of toys and tons of things around us that we can use and get out of our misery. 

Adam is probably still too young for boredom, these are my thoughts for the future mainly. I am in a crossroads of weather we should let the boredom creep into our life later on, or not! I definitely want Adam to get a chance to explore his creative side through boredom. To be able to engage with himself and the world, to creat, invent and imagine! I want boredom to help him find his passions and respond to the stirrings of his own heart. I was always against filling kids’ time with structured activities and always felt so sorry for the kids whose parents made sure they took piano classes, language classes, math classes and all the other classes they could lay hands on! Because obviously the child has no time to engage with the raw stuff that life is made of.

I guess there is always that safe space in between, where the kids have time to explore their inner and outer selves, while still engage in all these structured activities. The challenge here is to find this space without struggling so much. Our choices as parents are all we can give our kids, they need to be smart and serve the purpose! They all come from the same place, which is pure love, certainly, yet sometimes we tend to take them based on what works for us as parents and not what would work for our kids. Oh yeah parenting is crazy…! 

I would love to hear from all the mamas out there, what do you think? Please share your experience! Thank you! 

Ouiam

 

Hey, Let’s Play Together..!

  

Do you remember when the simple phrase : “Hey let’s play together” used to make the bestest of friends? It worked like magic, wherever you went and with any kid you saw and wanted to be friends with! You go to the doctor’s office, you see another kid with his mom, you ask the magical question and …boom!!!! You are all over the place playing and giggling together. At a party, in a train, or at the beach…. It works anywhere! The friendship might never make it beyond that day or those few hours, but you both agreed on the terms and conditions that came with that phrase-We are going to be friends for now, and we are going to make the most of it! We will run, laugh, climb, share our food, and do anything we feel like doing! Then we will say our goodbyes and each one will go home!- Does this sound like the perfect friendship or what?! 

While thinking about this my mind jumps to another way of easily making friends and with pretty much the same simple terms and conditions: Facebook! You send a friendship request, and the potential friend decides whether to accept it or not! If you make it to his friends’ list you then can follow up with his updates: Where he ate? what did he do after he ate? What is in his mind right now? And he does the same. You click on the famous “Thumbs Up” as a way to acknowledge the information he gave, you might comment from time to time, you might send him an emoji on his birthday, you might even spend a good 10minutes checking out his pictures, but the funny thing is …. Wait for it…. If you meet him in person…. He might not even say hello!!! But hey who cares we are “Facebook friends” right? 

The other day, while having a meaningful conversation with a friend, she told me that she has been struggling with understanding the whole idea behind the friendship concept. And I knew exactly what she meant, because not so long ago I was there myself! Questioning the meaning of a true friendship and the definition of a good friend! And it took me a while to come up with an answer and follow it by heart! We make our friends depending on how similar we are, and what we share in common, yet we are and will always be two different beings. We will act differently in different situations, we will think differently and have different opinions of things and we have to accept it and we have to always keep in mind the purpose of our friendship, so in case one of us deviates, we then have the choice to either correct the deviated party, or simply walk away! 

Sadly the magical phrase no longer works here. If I go to someone in a supermarket and say: “Would you play with me?” They would definitely think something is wrong with me lol. And neither can I send a friend request to someone I see at the park and think we would make a great pair of friends! As appealing as it sounds, the real world simply doesn’t work this way! 

Thinking of my own friends, I have to say that they come in categories, such as: 

Childhood friends: most of them are in my hometown and I visit them whenever I go there. Usually all we do is reminisce about the past, and catch up on our current lives. 

Mommy friends: friends with kids the same age as Adam, we always do different activities together to keep the kids busy. The focus is always on the kids, this way we are all happy. 

Work friends: from my previous jobs and we kept in touch throughout the years. 

Friends we socialise with.

Gym friends and a couple of best friends. 

It feels great to have that list always neat, tidy and well organised. And there is nothing wrong with having friends for a specific purpose, because after all we are all adults and we know what we are doing. We all want to have a good time in good company, doing the things we like to do! Because you simply can’t find the same version of yourself in someone else, liking what you like, enjoying what you enjoy, thinking the way you think. It is kind of a game, each friend should complete one part of you. 

One of the things I learnt in 2015 is to give everyone a chance to be a good friend, and then let fate decide of the destiny of this friendship. I also learnt to strike a conversation with anyone, you never know where it will end up! And I have to say I made some great friends in this past year! 

What is friendship to you? And how do you define a good friend? I would love to hear from you…. 

Ouiam