Words About 2017

What did your 2017 look like?

Mine was nothing like the years that have passed, this one was a little too salty, a bit soupy, and a tad too fudgy. It was the year I witnessed two tiny little hearts stop beating, I said goodbye to some friendships that have lasted years and years, but have reached an absolute dead end. I have had multiple punches in the gut that have left me crouching for a bit too long. I have answered the phone many times to be hit with terrible news. I have watched loved ones leave knowing that they will never return.

It has been a very very long marathon, that has left me breathless and without an ounce of energy, and I won’t lie, I am very happy the year is finally coming to an end!  Yet and without sounding too philosophical, throughout the year, I have had a beautiful home that I am blessed with and so very thankful for, I have always come back home to a wonderfully supporting husband, who in the midst of hurricanes have held my hands, not to tell me that it will be ok- because he knows way too well that this sentence over here makes me go nuts!! (No one knows that it will be ok, for all I know it can even go worse!)- but to tell me that we will work things out, we will figure out a way, like we always do! and that more than anything brings life back to my dying little heart! I have believed in myself and went back to the work field, on my own terms and with my own schedule as work will always come second in the list of my priorities -first comes my little ray of sunshine: my son- and this has brought so much joy and pride to my heart. I have harbored some new friendships, that have proved themselves to be loyal, and trustworthy. I have had the sunlight of my days and the smile that brightens my life always by my side, my beautiful son with the old soul, the one who fills my life with laughter, wonder and magic! I have also met some wonderful people who have inspired me greatly. Sometimes going through rough times makes you realize how blessed you are, and I feel 2017 was just that. It was God’s sign to me, to enlighten me and to show me the right way, to let me know that I needed his guidance, power and love and I have humbly accepted all the above.

There were many happy moments in 2017 that I will cherish forever. There were many other moments where love and empathy have filled the air around me making me feel so light and without a care in the world. More than I can count, and because of life’s weird way of showing us how vulnerable we all are, I was rewarded by connecting deeply with my loved ones, with friends, and with complete strangers too.

2017 has been too thick that it has left me not knowing what to expect from 2018. Yes, I am and I will always be hopeful and full of trust toward the one God, who has blessed me with countless gifts, some of which I have asked for and others that I didn’t even know I needed until they arrived. I know very well how life is all about different seasons and changing cycles, and that nothing stays the same, but with this year coming to an end, I simply am just too grateful that the year is over to have any expectations whatsoever for the next one!

Whatever 2018 will bring, I pray and pray and pray some more, to bring some wisdom with it, along with some new memories that can make the hardest times seem easier.

I wish you (and me) a wonderful year ahead, one where your heart will taste the absolute joys of life, and where your soul will brighten your being each and every time life decides to show you its ugly face, but mainly I wish that every night when you put your head on a pillow, you feel peaceful and whole, always, and forever.

Chanelmama

I Will Always Call You Baby…

To my darling husband ….

We were kids when we met, without a care in the world. We laughed till our jaws hurt, we played like kids, we never ever discussed what the future might have in store for us, simply because we didn’t care, because we lived our NOW like one should! Things were so simple, and all we would think about occasionally was where we were going to eat that day, and it was enough.

We got to experience life’s finest surprises, and we held hands and smiled.

Today we are no longer kids, we are grown ups, we have another human being to take care of, and life is no longer simple. Simple is a word that we now only use to describe our clothes maybe, but never us nor our life, because there is nothing simple about it now. We still hold hands, but now you hold my hand a little tighter. We still laugh but now we laugh harder, we still run around like kids, but this time we have a new little participant. We still make fun of each other, now we do it more often. We still send each other silly messages, they just got sillier, because with a kid onboard you sometimes need to use the weirdest words to describe your day.

No matter how hard my day is, in your arms I always feel like a little girl again, without a care in the world again. Only you can have the extraordinary power to make everything look and feel safer. Only you can make the biggest problems seem so small and almost insignificant. Only you make me laugh at myself till my stomach hurts. Only you can access my brain anytime you want and read all my thoughts. Only you make my heart skip a beat!

No one prepared us for what life had for us, but you my love were there to hold me, to heal me, to help me, to wipe my tears, to ground me, to take care of me. You are my personal travel agent, my tech-guy, my music downloader, my Netflix fixer, my graphic designer, and most importantly you make the best food in the world!

You are the only one who can read my horrible hand writing, you still laugh at my silly jokes, you cheer for me, you forget my clothes at the laundry –it’s ok I still love you-, you let me share your drinks – Ok maybe not, but I still do it- You listen to me when I ramble, you know it when I think out loud, and you get it when I randomly try to end an unfinished story-from the day or month before- without even an introduction.

You hate my ripped jeans, but you still say that I look nice in them. You don’t like me to take pictures of you, yet you still let me do, you even smile. You don’t like my gluten free, dairy free, vegan pancakes yet you still eat them. You think I don’t know, but I do…and it makes all those things way more special!

You support me and my choices, no matter how crazy they are. You give me the support I need to be the person I want to be. You encourage my sometimes irrational and unreasonable ideas, and you watch them with me as they become reality. You are everything, you are my tribe, my village, my rock and my safe haven.

I will keep on making fun of you even when we are old and crazy, I will still feed you healthy food even when your teeth are gone, I will keep on taking pictures of you even when your wrinkles are more than I can count, I will still let you handle my computer, phone, IPad, and whatever gadgets we will have then! I will always call you baby, even when we have grandkids to babysit, and I will always love you!

Ouiam