One of the things that have started to bother me lately, and that I have decided to make it the deal breaker in my relationships is: When you message people, they read the message yet they never take the time to reply. In my world this isn’t only disrespectful and very rude, it is also a proof of how disorganized and shallow that person is. Someone who takes time to sit and write a message to me, while I am sure they have plenty of more interesting and exciting things to do (let’s face it we all lead hectic lives and we are ALL extremely busy!) So yeah if someone takes time to write and thoughtfully compose a message to me, first of all I need to take time to appreciate that action and in return reply with love and kindness, to show that person that I reciprocate the love, the time, and the efforts. Luckily most people in my life are amazing and have excellent texting ethics (if I can call it so!), yet some still didn’t get the memo that said: “Be kind to one another, even if it’s in a text message!”
In the last couple of years, and while learning about relationships in a whole different dimension, I started noticing these small things that make life a lot more enjoyable and meaningful, you know … the small actions of love, the tiny acts of kindness and thoughtfulness that give the whole thing a completely different meaning. Besides, having a child forces you to stop at small details and appreciate them and always take a minute or two to be mindful and to always live in the NOW, so one of these “AHA” moments was when a specific person was constantly taking days and days to reply to my messages. First, my reaction was to fully understand that people, and specifically mothers, already have their plates full, and to just brush it off because “It’s not a big deal”, then one day it hit me, I thought about myself, and how busy I constantly am, yet I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS answer my messages, phone calls, and emails as soon as I can, it never takes days, few hours maybe but never more than that. Why do I do it? Because I respect the other person’s time, I appreciate the love and the thoughtfulness of these people who thought of me and took time to send me that text, or call, or send an email. Even if it’s a nasty message or a crazy call, or whatever it is, they still took time out of their busy day and dedicated it to me. So yes it definitely is a big deal! From that day onward, I decided to be mindful about people’s texting habits, and to fully eliminate the ones who for some reason (that I can’t yet fathom) take days or even weeks to reciprocate the love. Believe me I get how busy everyone is, I am the living example of a busy person/mother, my time is calculated to the second, yet I always take a minute to reciprocate the love.
I think -and please correct me if I am wrong- the issue here is that in the world where we live now some values have diminished and disappeared. We have what would be some sort of social poverty, we have been focusing on the negative side and we got dragged away by forces we couldn’t control, and forgot how to appreciate the positive in humans and humanity. With all the wars, the killing, the bombing, the bad experiences we all encounter one way or another, we forgot that some people still genuinely care for us, even if we are not that close; and that text or call is their own way of showing their love, their support, and their compassion. Not everyone calling, or texting, necessarily wants or needs something, sometimes they just want to say hello, to check how you are doing, whether you need help or not, and this is very, very precious.
So really think about it, if someone had time to read your message, they sure have the time to reply, even with “I’ll reply later”!