The Voice Of God

 

Yesterday and with the fading sun of that lovely afternoon, God’s love manifested right in front of my eyes. In all its glory, and with more grace and mercy than I could have ever imagined. It wasn’t the right place nor the right time, but hey… how little do we know right?

 

Have you ever felt lonely even when the room is filled with people? Have you ever heard nothing but the echo of your deep thoughts even if the noise in the room exceeds the norm? That’s how it was yesterday, I was drowning in my own thoughts, worries, doubts, and fear. Although, physically I was right there, among a handful of people in a room that was full of laughter and giggles of young toddlers, but my brain was drifting away…! And right when I thought I could never be heard no matter how loud I speak, the force shut every sound in that busy room and gave place to a prayer to be heard, loud and clear. A prayer I memorized because since yesterday I might have repeated it about 100 times. A prayer that washed off the fear and the doubts. A prayer that resonated with every fiber in my being. A prayer said in a way that only I could decipher. A prayer said by a woman…. Should I say more?

 

God wanted me to see the power women can have when united, when light and life grow in their wombs, when they carry 2 hearts in their fine and delicate bodies. Women whom their hearts have doubled in size many many times to carry the love they have for their babies. Women who know exactly what motherhood is all about. I was shown what these women can do and how can they so wonderfully bring life back into the hearts that have stopped loving out of fear. I looked them in the eyes and saw their souls… like stories of life, they revealed all I ever needed to know, right there and then. I saw love and compassion in their eyes, I saw what I can never forget, I saw GOD!

 

A women hugged me and cried with me because she was real and whole and wanted me to be so too. She held my hand and prayed for me. She let go of her own fear and found solace in the greatness of love and forgiveness. I laid my head on her shoulder, heard her breathe, I heard the two beating hearts in her body, and I felt safe and sound. My worries were gone, my wound was healed and my thoughts were clear. I smiled… with tears yes, but those were different tears now. Tears that washed the last bits of doubts and left room for God’s greatness to immerse and to show the world that no matter how strong we think we are; we all need God in our lives.

 

This post is dedicated to the women who forgot about their own sorrow and decided against all odds to give love, compassion and build a bridge that can never be broken. This is a living proof that God’s greatest creation is Women, and how damn powerful they are when they are brought together in one room. How inspiring, loving, and strong they can be when they need to. I always cherished the women in my life, and I always will. They are shinny little miracles that never cease to amaze!

 

To the two beautiful women (inside and out) who held my hand yesterday, and became the voice of God.

 

 

Ouiam

Just Reply To The Damn Text Already!

 

One of the things that have started to bother me lately, and that I have decided to make it the deal breaker in my relationships is: When you message people, they read the message yet they never take the time to reply. In my world this isn’t only disrespectful and very rude, it is also a proof of how disorganized and shallow that person is. Someone who takes time to sit and write a message to me, while I am sure they have plenty of more interesting and exciting things to do (let’s face it we all lead hectic lives and we are ALL extremely busy!) So yeah if someone takes time to write and thoughtfully compose a message to me, first of all I need to take time to appreciate that action and in return reply with love and kindness, to show that person that I reciprocate the love, the time, and the efforts. Luckily most people in my life are amazing and have excellent texting ethics (if I can call it so!), yet some still didn’t get the memo that said: “Be kind to one another, even if it’s in a text message!”

In the last couple of years, and while learning about relationships in a whole different dimension, I started noticing these small things that make life a lot more enjoyable and meaningful, you know … the small actions of love, the tiny acts of kindness and thoughtfulness that give the whole thing a completely different meaning. Besides, having a child forces you to stop at small details and appreciate them and always take a minute or two to be mindful and to always live in the NOW, so one of these “AHA” moments was when a specific person was constantly taking days and days to reply to my messages. First, my reaction was to fully understand that people, and specifically mothers, already have their plates full, and to just brush it off because “It’s not a big deal”, then one day it hit me, I thought about myself, and how busy I constantly am, yet I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS answer my messages, phone calls, and emails as soon as I can, it never takes days, few hours maybe but never more than that. Why do I do it? Because I respect the other person’s time, I appreciate the love and the thoughtfulness of these people who thought of me and took time to send me that text, or call, or send an email. Even if it’s a nasty message or a crazy call, or whatever it is, they still took time out of their busy day and dedicated it to me. So yes it definitely is a big deal! From that day onward, I decided to be mindful about people’s texting habits, and to fully eliminate the ones who for some reason (that I can’t yet fathom) take days or even weeks to reciprocate the love. Believe me I get how busy everyone is, I am the living example of a busy person/mother, my time is calculated to the second, yet I always take a minute to reciprocate the love.

I think -and please correct me if I am wrong- the issue here is that in the world where we live now some values have diminished and disappeared. We have what would be some sort of social poverty, we have been focusing on the negative side and we got dragged away by forces we couldn’t control, and forgot how to appreciate the positive in humans and humanity. With all the wars, the killing, the bombing, the bad experiences we all encounter one way or another, we forgot that some people still genuinely care for us, even if we are not that close; and that text or call is their own way of showing their love, their support, and their compassion. Not everyone calling, or texting, necessarily wants or needs something, sometimes they just want to say hello, to check how you are doing, whether you need help or not, and this is very, very precious.

So really think about it, if someone had time to read your message, they sure have the time to reply, even with “I’ll reply later”!

Ouiam

This Is Why I don’t Use Snapchat!

Few weeks ago, a very good friend of mine and I (along with our husbands) started this crazy conversation, where none of us actually took a clear side… You know… We all finished our sentences with things like: I don’t know, maybe, I am not sure what do you think? It was the most unsure and disoriented discussion I’ve ever had lol. The topic started when she asked me why I am not active on Snapchat, and I decided to answer her with another question –note to self: never answer a question with another question, hahaha!- Why do we post things on social media? I was convinced (and I still kind of am) that sharing things online is a form of being boastful, a thing we do to show off. No matter what we post we are still showing people, who are interested enough to watch, that we are doing something, eating something, buying something, looking at something and we want other people to like it, in other words approve of it (the only way I can think of it!). My friend didn’t completely disagree yet she thinks that we post because we love ourselves because we want to share beautiful things with the world. A beautiful, rosy way to think of it. I, on the other hand, am too morbid in my own head, to share the same opinion, so I had to dig deeper, much much deeper. It took me weeks and weeks of reflection and thinking, to finally get my answer. So, brace yourselves and buckle up…. Here it comes!

 

 

You know how we always hear of the internet as: The Virtual World? How the internet isn’t the real world? Well I would love to start by scrapping those existing thoughts from the picture. Internet IS the real world NOW, it has become so, years ago. We might have not noticed because it was done gradually, but think about it: how many times you have looked someone up on Facebook or Instagram or even Google, to see what are they like, what are they into, what do they like and dislike? How many times you went for an interview and were damn sure that the interviewer will look you up online before they make a decision on whether they will hire you or not? How many times you checked a potential boyfriends’ social media, to know whether this relationship is going to work or not? The time we spend behind our screens is changing our lives, it is changing who we are. The internet has become a mutual approval machine, where we show the best of us, and we wait for people to like it, and we do the same for other people too. In other words, we are changing who we are by only displaying what we feel is good enough to be shared, and these people will make the assumption that we are what we post. Think about it, among the 25 billion things you do in a day, only few of them find their way into your social media, and that has now become more important in defining who you really are, as opposed to all the other things that go by unnoticed in your daily life, again because they are not good enough to be shared and also because we simply can’t post 25billion things a day!! Let’s imagine that on social media there was no option to like or comment on pictures/status or anything we post, how boring will that be? Do you think we will indulge in it as much as we do now? We create this virtual persona that we have some kind of control over, and we try to maintain it. If this doesn’t change who we are, I am not sure what does!

 

How many people we have on Facebook, for example that we are friends with, we like their pages, pictures and status yet when it comes to the real world, we can’t even stand them? We all have at least one of these people in our world, don’t we?

 

I say the reason I dislike the virtual world and I am always very careful with what I post, is because I am scared of losing my true self. It took me more than 27 years to get on the right path and I am not ready to lose all that. This is why I am constantly looking into my feed, my old posts, my old pictures and status to check if they were really me, if they really define who I am, if they weren’t some kind of fake Ouiam, that I want the world to believe that it is the real thing. I still delete old posts because I don’t feel they are truly “ME”, I have to admit that this doesn’t happen that often now,  and that’s simply because I am very conscious every time I hit the “Share/post” button. I guess this is still possible with Facebook and Instagram however, when it comes to Snapchat, because we know that the story will disappear in 24hours, we are automatically encouraged to post anything and everything, which takes away the little control we can still have over it, just like we tend to buy tons of things when they are on sale, not because we really need them but because they are on SALE.

 

I share my story using social media because it has given me-and everyone else using it- a voice. We were voiceless before and could never share thoughts and opinions with everyone else, because it was simply impossible to have that big of a platform in the actual world; However, now we can spill all our thoughts, feelings, emotions, opinions all over the social media without limits, we are sometimes judged harshly for it, and again this is because social media gives a voice to voiceless people, so everyone is allowed to participate whichever way they please.

 

This is why I –and again this is my own personal opinion- don’t use Snapchat, it might work for me one day, when I am absolutely sure that I will not lose who I am and confuse it with who I want people to think I am, then maybe I will consider it, but for now I am fine with just the incredible amount of distraction the internet is happily offering!!

 

Ouiam