There is no doubt that contemporary parenting has become a minefield. With the peer pressure we all encounter as parents, parenting has become this huge competition, where each and every parent wants to do the “right thing”, go by the “book”, and raise their children to be the smartest and most brilliant kids of all times. Of course we all do it out of love, after all these little creatures are pieces of our hearts and souls. All we want to do is love them, protect them and give them the best we can for them to grow and become responsible, kind, and happy human beings. Yet what we tend to forget most of the time is that children are not our property, nor are they a trophy, they are these tiny human beings, who are trying to find their own way every single day. They just embarked in this crazy journey and with time they are developing the skills needed to be able to sail freely and smoothly. We are there to GUIDE them and to make sure they acquire the necessary tools to build their personalities, characters, and their own opinions. The trick is to decide when to step in and when to back off, and this is where most parents go wrong. As parents we are automatically wired to make these little minds and hearts avoid pain, sadness and sorrow at all costs. We can’t stand the thought that our little one is going through a hard time, through pain and suffering, so we get up and do whatever we can to skip that part and make them think that they live in a flawless pink world, filled with rainbows and unicorns. While this is not necessary a bad thing, but if done all the time, it robs the children the chance to live their own life, to fight their own battles. Letting them live their life to the fullest even at a young age, can be tremendously beneficent, it can teach them problem-solving skills, it can teach them to be confident and to love themselves, which is the key to having happy kids.
By giving the child a voice, you are arming them with the tools needed to build confidence and self-esteem for the future. When he learns that no matter what, he is the master of his own destiny you are giving him the chance to stand up for himself and face the consequences of his choices. By taking responsibility of his own acts you are also teaching him that he is worthy of your trust yet he is also accountable for his acts.
As a mother, this might be just about the most difficult thing on earth! Seeing your sweet little child in tears over something that you can fix in a second…. Man it’s hard! You just have to remind yourself everyday that you will not interfere and that you will let your child fight his own battles but you will still show him that you love him no matter what and that you’re there for him.
Letting your child go through their own heartbreaking experiences, pain and suffering might be the greatest gift you could ever offer them.