Somebody told me today that I inspire them…..and the first thought that came to my mind was: “No freaking way! I can’t be inspiring, I am just an ordinary person, leading an ordinary life”. I had to repeat those words few times to realise that something was very wrong with that reasoning of mine! The words didn’t resonate well with the symphony of my brain. A red flag popped up, a loud beep disturbed the serenity of my mind! Why am I underestimating myself? Why can’t I just say: “Oh Thank you!” and tell myself: “Yes I am!!”. It seems like we judge ourselves so harshly, that we can’t even accept compliments anymore! It is not about being humble and modest, it is almost like we don’t want to believe that we are good, great, fantastic, wonderful human beings! We have a very hard time accepting that we are good-great- at what we do! Here, I wouldn’t take the blame alone, I’ll have to say that this must be related to the pressure we receive from our environment , with the illusion of perfectionism that invaded our lives and homes. Everybody wants to be perfect, because the community we live in has made us believe that in order to survive, we need to be perfect. We want to be perfect because everybody else is perfect (or at least trying to show us that they are!). We want to be perfect because this is the norm, because we have to, we must be perfect! Perfect mothers, perfect wives, perfect daughters, perfect friends…etc. We are killing ourselves trying so hard to be the best at everything, and it never seems to satisfy us, the more we do the more we need to do! Please don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being perfect, but there is nothing wrong with being just OK too! We should be able to look at ourselves in the mirror and smile, give ourselves a pat in the shoulder or a high five, and say: “Well Done!”. We should be able to smile and say Thank you, when someone gives us a compliment! We should be able to give compliments to other people too, and tell the wonderful people in our lives that they inspire us, without feeling threatened or insecure, just like the beautiful person I talked to this morning did!
Actually this whole day was a lesson, an eye opener for me! Just few hours before I got that incredibly sweet compliment, I met a very sweet lady, who looked me in the eye and said: “I think I am not a good mother!”. My hear sank and I felt tears rushing down! No MOTHER EVER should say these words! NEVER! Every mother is doing a great job, no matter what the society say! You nurtured that little angel 9 months inside of you, you bared childbirth and your body did the most magnificent thing ever! You breastfed that little miracle, you woke up every two hours for a year or two or three…! That is more than enough for you to be “mother of the year” every single year! that is by definition, the greatest thing in the world! You are a good mother, you are a great mother and no one should ever make you feel anything but that!
So please everyone reading this post, please do me a favor, when someone gives you a compliment, smile, node, say Thank you, and accept it… believe it! Because you deserve it! To the mothers reading this, please DO NOT let anyone shame you, or make you feel guilty in any possible way! You are awesome and you should know it! Who cares if someone out there doesn’t agree? Who cares really? Remember… smile, nod and say Thank you! Because you deserve it!