Last month we celebrated Adam’s second birthday, yes he is already two! It seems just like yesterday when we came back from the hospital, and we thought: “Oh my god! It just got real!”. We had no clue what to expect. When I got pregnant, we read tons of parenting books, and checked many parenting blogs. By the time the baby was ready to pop out of my stomach, we thought “we’ve got this”. You know….. easy stuff: always keep the baby fed, clean, rested, and that’s it! The parents of the year! So right then after we returned home no longer two, but three! A tiny baby in my arms, a tiny little human being, so delicate and fragile, we realized that none of those books, blogs, information we got from friends and family, will ever be of any help! This is real! My husband and I were totally in charge of another human being’s fate! Just me and him! No one else! We were to make decisions concerning the life of this little angel we were carrying. The responsibility that laid on our shoulders seemed endless and almost overbearing! So we decided to take it day by day, step by step… and I am glad we did!
Those first days of “Newborn” phase, do you remember them? If you are a parent, then you will know what I mean when I call it the newborn haze. That never-ending cycle of feeding, changing, sleeping, and mostly not sleeping. Slow feeling when you are in it, and suddenly your baby is one month, two months, three months……… ONE YEAR! And you’ll always be wondering where did the time go!
Now those days seem so far away, yet I always remember them and long for them. Those days of Adam and me, me and Adam every day, every hour and every minute! Him cozied up to my chest in the baby carrier. We ran errands together, we visited friends together, we went for lunches and early-dinners together. We drove and listened to music, we sang and clapped all the way! We sat on the floor and read stories, stacked blocks, crawled and cuddled. We played every morning and every afternoon! He sat in the kitchen while I cooked, in the bathroom while I showered and got ready. Sometimes those days seemed so long, some nights I cried while trying to rock, pat and sing lullabies to put him back to sleep. Sometimes I wondered if there will ever be an easy day in this parenting journey. My husband, my rock, always lifted me up and reassured me that soon we will be able to sleep again! The first year was though, but was also sweet and full of baby laughter, cooing and giggles! Kisses and cuddles, that make us forget every sleepless night we had and every tear we dropped. Lots of first-times, lots of milestones, lots of new things that we learnt!
When we celebrated Adam’s first birthday, what we were celebrating more than anything was US! We did it! We were proud of ourselves and what we have accomplished, alone with no help from anyone! We made it! We survived! We also wondered where did the time go! And wished for time to go back to that baby smell that filled our house and our days!
The second year was much easier and we somehow got the hang of it (most days). After focusing all the time on a helpless baby, completely depending on us-his parents, we finally got time for ourselves. We got our life back. We had time to go out for date-nights, to socialize and spend time with grown-ups! It felt so good that we were finally able to do all that, it also felt weird and bittersweet! The little baby wasn’t so little anymore! Here he is now, TWO! He seems so old to me! A handsome little man! So independent, adventurous, curious, and always looking for new things to explore! Those baby-days went by so fast that it hurts. You always hear it: “The days will go by so quickly…… you’ll blink and he’ll be 18……..time flies!!” and you think you are aware of all of it…… but you really don’t know until you are there!
So to all the mamas out there, struggling right now like we did a year or two ago, I say hang in there, soak every minute in, time will fly, and things will get easier and smoother. You will get time to do all the things you are longing for right now; you will get there, I promise you! But you will always miss those baby-days!