Do you remember when the simple phrase : “Hey let’s play together” used to make the bestest of friends? It worked like magic, wherever you went and with any kid you saw and wanted to be friends with! You go to the doctor’s office, you see another kid with his mom, you ask the magical question and …boom!!!! You are all over the place playing and giggling together. At a party, in a train, or at the beach…. It works anywhere! The friendship might never make it beyond that day or those few hours, but you both agreed on the terms and conditions that came with that phrase-We are going to be friends for now, and we are going to make the most of it! We will run, laugh, climb, share our food, and do anything we feel like doing! Then we will say our goodbyes and each one will go home!- Does this sound like the perfect friendship or what?!
While thinking about this my mind jumps to another way of easily making friends and with pretty much the same simple terms and conditions: Facebook! You send a friendship request, and the potential friend decides whether to accept it or not! If you make it to his friends’ list you then can follow up with his updates: Where he ate? what did he do after he ate? What is in his mind right now? And he does the same. You click on the famous “Thumbs Up” as a way to acknowledge the information he gave, you might comment from time to time, you might send him an emoji on his birthday, you might even spend a good 10minutes checking out his pictures, but the funny thing is …. Wait for it…. If you meet him in person…. He might not even say hello!!! But hey who cares we are “Facebook friends” right?
The other day, while having a meaningful conversation with a friend, she told me that she has been struggling with understanding the whole idea behind the friendship concept. And I knew exactly what she meant, because not so long ago I was there myself! Questioning the meaning of a true friendship and the definition of a good friend! And it took me a while to come up with an answer and follow it by heart! We make our friends depending on how similar we are, and what we share in common, yet we are and will always be two different beings. We will act differently in different situations, we will think differently and have different opinions of things and we have to accept it and we have to always keep in mind the purpose of our friendship, so in case one of us deviates, we then have the choice to either correct the deviated party, or simply walk away!
Sadly the magical phrase no longer works here. If I go to someone in a supermarket and say: “Would you play with me?” They would definitely think something is wrong with me lol. And neither can I send a friend request to someone I see at the park and think we would make a great pair of friends! As appealing as it sounds, the real world simply doesn’t work this way!
Thinking of my own friends, I have to say that they come in categories, such as:
Childhood friends: most of them are in my hometown and I visit them whenever I go there. Usually all we do is reminisce about the past, and catch up on our current lives.
Mommy friends: friends with kids the same age as Adam, we always do different activities together to keep the kids busy. The focus is always on the kids, this way we are all happy.
Work friends: from my previous jobs and we kept in touch throughout the years.
Friends we socialise with.
Gym friends and a couple of best friends.
It feels great to have that list always neat, tidy and well organised. And there is nothing wrong with having friends for a specific purpose, because after all we are all adults and we know what we are doing. We all want to have a good time in good company, doing the things we like to do! Because you simply can’t find the same version of yourself in someone else, liking what you like, enjoying what you enjoy, thinking the way you think. It is kind of a game, each friend should complete one part of you.
One of the things I learnt in 2015 is to give everyone a chance to be a good friend, and then let fate decide of the destiny of this friendship. I also learnt to strike a conversation with anyone, you never know where it will end up! And I have to say I made some great friends in this past year!
What is friendship to you? And how do you define a good friend? I would love to hear from you….