– Friend: Are you happy?
– Me: Do you mean right now?
– Friend : No in general
– Me: Like a percentage?
– Friend: No, like are you a happy person?
– Me: What do you mean by happy?
– Friend: Like would you define yourself as a happy person?
– Me: What is a happy person? One who jokes all the time? One who smiles all the time? One who is content? One who acts happy?
– Friend: I don’t know! OMG! Can you stop being so philosophical!!!! Agghh
This was a conversation between me and a friend of mine, over some ice cream and fruits. Before of course she decided she needed a break from my much philosophical brain and went back home lol! But that wasn’t the end of it, this conversation got me to think, really what’s happiness? Is it a moment? A bunch of them? A percentage of how many of them you have in your life? How many times you smile everyday? How many times you laugh everyday? What is it really? Aren’t we all in a quest for happiness? A grand pursuit of happiness manages our daily lives! We do what we can to be happy, to stay happy! Aren’t we all focused on making ourselves happy? Something about this puts me off!
What…? You think I am a creep? Maybe, who knows. But y nature, I don’t like to label things. So being happy to me is a fake concept! Before you frown, and leave this page, let me explain to you: Happiness, by definition excludes the sad, bad, difficult…etc. So when I look back to my life, and look at the tough times, the sad and difficult moments I lived in my 29years of life; my heart aches, but not from sadness! Absolutely not! With a big a smile I high-five myself! And I almost feel happy that I went trough each one of those moments! Those times shaped me, thanks to them I am who I am today! I am definitely aware that dark days exists! They should exist! Grey days too! And we shouldn’t try to make them disappear by posting only happy pictures on Instagram and Facebook! (Don’t get me wrong I love posting happy pictures but that shouldn’t be the norm!). Or by refusing to talk about them. We mostly gloss over them then we try to get back to “Happy”.
Don’t we all say: “We grow through pain” yet as soon as we experience the pain we quickly try to “Move on” to “Cheer up”. Call me morbid, but pain is the only way we can appreciate happiness and happy moments! A great example is giving birth! Giving birth is the most painful experience any woman would ever experience, yet what comes after all those screams, tears, and pain is the happiest moment in your whole life!
I would rather prefer to define myself as WHOLE! I embrace my difficult times as well as I do with the happy ones, and I cherish them both! I look at the big picture, even beyond: “You can’t get sunshine without rain” kind of thing! It all contributes to the greater person we can become; the set-backs the challenges, the tears, the pain, the failures, all being part of that wholeness!
Happiness doesn’t teach you much, whereas those bad days do! They give you precious life lessons, that you will forever appreciate!
So yes I am not happy all the time, but I am whole! It took me so much time to stop this crazy hunt for happiness. It took me so much efforts to reach where I am now. To be able to equally embrace the sad and the happy. To be proud of my failures and my set backs, and wear them as a badge on my chest! Because they made me who I am today!
Do you feel you can relate to this? What do you have to say about happiness?!