I started doing Yoga a couple of months after Adam was born. A lovely lady used to come over to give me some private classes at home, about 3 times a week. It was my very first time and I was super excited! Everybody I’ve ever met, had only great things to say about Yoga! My first class was great, and promised very sore muscles the next day. The second class though, I started having my doubts! My instructor was amazing and very peaceful which I loved, but there was a very small red flag rising at the back of my head! I tried to ignore it for the next six months …. But in vain! How can I not like Yoga???? Me?? For 3 years before Adam was born, I meditated every morning at 6am. I also did Taichi and Qigong (the Chinese version of Yoga) and I was loving it all! So what’s happening?! The first person I expressed my dislike of Yoga to, gave me the weirdest look as in: “You can’t be serious right?!”.
So after months of serious agony, I decided it was enough. Yoga wasn’t my thing and I didn’t care what other people thought of it or thought of me!!
Yoga here just happens to be an example of things I push myself daily to achieve, just because I don’t want to seem weird or unusual! I would put so much pressure on myself to accomplish things that I don’t even want to accomplish just to please somebody! So my six months experience with Yoga was a true eye opener! Why should I ever do something I don’t like? Why should I push myself to do what I never want to be doing? And why should my choices in life fall into the same box as everyone’s else? Hell yeah.. I want to be weird! I want to be different! I want to be unusual! Even Barney would back me up on that (I am such a mom bringing up Barney in this very serious post! lol) My choices should be based on what I think fits me and my life and not what fits into what other people think is right!
How many times I pushed myself to be somewhere I didn’t want to be in? How many times I forced myself to say something I didn’t really mean? How many times did I wear something I didn’t really feel like wearing? All that so I don’t seem strange in other people’s eyes! I can’t even begin to count!!
The tricky part though is to do the same thing for other people. To appreciate their weirdness, and applaud their differences! This must be even harder than the fact of being different! We are judgmental creatures by nature, yet we hate to be judged ourselves! What a dilemma ha…. !
When I sit back and watch my life, it sure seems like a continuous evaluation! And I love it! I see how the simplest things teach me so much about life itself, and about me too! At 29 I am perfectly comfortable with me, physically and emotionally. I also love my own company and I am no longer afraid of saying NO, or being different! Thanks to similar things that happen and we never know why, but there is always a point behind them! This might be too much self-rambling for some of you, but my thoughts always find a way to escape the safety of my brain and land into this blog 😉 So Thanks for reading!!