The Strong And The Vulnerable… 

  

  
“You are a tough cookie…!!!” 

That’s what my doctor told me, the day I left the hospital, after 10 days in ICU (after giving birth to Adam). I remember blushing and feeling embarrassed, but mainly happy! 

“I raised you to be tough like a man, but now I see that you are tougher than any man I know” that’s what my dad told me the day I was leaving my home-town and my family, to come to Bahrain. I also blushed, but had the proudest look on my face! 

“You are a strong little girl” that’s what my teacher told me at the funeral of my dear beloved grandmother, for not crying and for making sure my sister was doing fine! I felt proud!

Now at 29years old (what feels like an eternity already), and after hearing the word: “strong” addressed to me so many times, I no longer blush, nor feel happy or proud! I actually feel anxious and pressured! All my life I have been trying my best to always be and appear strong! So my teacher wouldn’t be disappointed, so my dad can be proud of me, so my doctor gives me a star for being a great patient! But it’s tiring! It is exhausting to be strong all the time! To hold your tears, to oppress the fear and push it real deep so no one can have a glimpse of it, to never ever ask for help even when you really need it! 

This was never a choice, I think this is just how I am wired! Or maybe because I had strict parents who only expected the best from their youngest! Whatever it is I want it to end. I need it to end! I deeply desire to be vulnerable, sensitive, helpless, needy…. Anything that doesn’t imply strength in any possible way! I would like to let myself loose, to cry in front of friends and family, I would like to pick up the phone and call a friend to come over and give me a hand, I would like to say the words:  “I need help” without feeling guilty or ashamed or even embarrassed! Even for a day! And feel this weight lift off my shoulders and dissipate into the air around me 

Being strong- or trying to be strong all the time, takes a toll on your energy, your mental and physical health! Energy that could be spent in brighter things! But how to stop? How to forget about being strong and give a chance to the vulnerable you to just be? Strenght is a quality that should be used wisely! So here I am taking my own advise! Freeing myself from the burden of my strenght! Free, strong, and vulnerable…!! 

Ouiam   

Yoga, We Will Probably Never Be Friends….

  
I started doing Yoga a couple of months after Adam was born. A lovely lady used to come over to give me some private classes at home, about 3 times a week. It was my very first time and I was super excited! Everybody I’ve ever met, had only great things to say about Yoga! My first class was great, and promised very sore muscles the next day. The second class though, I started having my doubts! My instructor was amazing and very peaceful which I loved, but there was a very small red flag rising at the back of my head! I tried to ignore it for the next six months …. But in vain! How can I not like Yoga???? Me?? For 3 years before Adam was born, I meditated every morning at 6am. I also did Taichi and Qigong (the Chinese version of Yoga) and I was loving it all! So what’s happening?! The first person I expressed my dislike of Yoga to, gave me the weirdest look as in: “You can’t be serious right?!”.

So after months of serious agony, I decided it was enough. Yoga wasn’t my thing and I didn’t care what other people thought of it or thought of me!! 

Yoga here just happens to be an example of things I push myself daily to achieve, just because I don’t want to seem weird or unusual! I would put so much pressure on myself to accomplish things that I don’t even want to accomplish just to please somebody! So my six months experience with Yoga was a true eye opener! Why should I ever do something I don’t like? Why should I push myself to do what I never want to be doing? And why should my choices in life fall into the same box as everyone’s else? Hell yeah.. I want to be weird! I want to be different! I want to be unusual! Even Barney would back me up on that (I am such a mom bringing up Barney in this very serious post! lol) My choices should be based on what I think fits me and my life and not what fits into what other people think is right! 
How many times I pushed myself to be somewhere I didn’t want to be in? How many times I forced myself to say something I didn’t really mean? How many times did I wear something I didn’t really feel like wearing? All that so I don’t seem strange in other people’s eyes! I can’t even begin to count!! 

The tricky part though is to do the same thing for other people. To appreciate their weirdness, and applaud their differences! This must be even harder than the fact of being different! We are judgmental creatures by nature, yet we hate to be judged ourselves! What a dilemma ha…. !    
When I sit back and watch my life, it sure seems like a continuous evaluation! And I love it! I see how the simplest things teach me so much about life itself, and about me too! At 29 I am perfectly comfortable with me, physically and emotionally. I also love my own company and I am no longer afraid of saying NO, or being different! Thanks to similar things that happen and we never know why, but there is always a point behind them! This might be too much self-rambling for some of you, but my thoughts always find a way to escape the safety of my brain and land into this blog 😉 So Thanks for reading!! 
Ouiam 

A Holiday In Heaven…

  

Okay… Who doesn’t like going for a vacation?! And who doesn’t like to go for a calm serene get away, every once in a while?! I am pretty sure we all know the answer already! We just came back from one! So I thought I definitely should give you guys my feedback and recommendations, in case you too were looking for a fantastic place to go on a holiday! 
   
It has only been a day since we left Bodrum, and I sure miss it like crazy! I miss those beautiful warm breezy and sunny days. The calm that surrounded every parcel of our beings! 

  
This break was a much needed one. For the last few weeks I have been feeling that I had a hundred things running through my mind, and my brain skips from one thing to another in a mild merry-go-round that truly has no ending. I felt my to-do lists were getting bigger each day and my “ME” time was slowly disappearing from my schedule. This was driving me insane! So when we found out that my husband’s leave wasn’t canceled (absolutely normal when your husband is a pilot), you can imagine how happy and relieved I was. 

Bodrum wasn’t our first option. We had: Sharm El Sheikh, Jordan, and Bali too. We didn’t know what to choose, so we abruptly chose Turkey (Bodrum). 

We stayed a couple of days in Istanbul, a destination we love so much (by “we” I mean I, and certainly not my husband lol), then we took a flight with Turkish Airlines to go to Bodrum. The flight is only 50minutes long. A very smooth and quick flight. We landed early in the afternoon, in a small airport. We then found our driver, sent by the hotel to pick us up, waiting outside. The ride took about 40minutes to reach: Mandarin Oriental Resort & Hotel. The second we parked the car, we were in awe with the beauty of this place! 

  
The staff were very welcoming, smiling and making sure we had everything we needed, before one of them took us to our suite/ apartment.
  
Our room was incredibly amazing, spacious and beautiful. The living room was also very spacious, and beautifully decorated. In addition, we had an insanely beautiful garden attached to our suite! Everything around us was screaming: “Calm, Serenity and perfect vacation!” They even had some autentic turkish delights waiting for us on our table! 

  

  
We were pleasantly surprised to find cute little things already prepared for our toddler: Organic baby shampoo and shower gel, tiny matching bath robe and slippers, a small bath tub, and a panda bear! It is the only hotel we have ever visited that took into consideration our little one’s needs! So here is a big shout out to this amazing hotel! 

  
They also have a small kids’ club, where the little ones can have some fun of their own, with a lovely lady to take care of them! There is also a great video game room for the older kids and their dads lol ! 

Wherever we went we were delighted to meet exceptionally nice staff, always ready to help and always making sure we had all what we needed! 
My husband and I had a chance to try out their spa, and have an oriental massage done……and Oh Boy! It was amazing! No wonder their spa was ranked the second best spa in the whole world! 

  
We spent 6 days in this amazing hotel, and we enjoyed every minute of it so very much! I can’t recommend this hotel enough you guys! We absolutely positively had an awesome stay at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel in Bodrum!! 

   
    
 
Ouiam

Fate, Friends, and Popcorn! 

  

Those we meet at the sidewalk, we surprise ourselves walking towards them, and as unusual as it might seem then, we actually do strike a conversation. Or those we knew for years and years yet the only thing we knew about them was their names! Or those we were not supposed to meet but a flight was missed and we sat next to each other at the airport. Is it fate that brings us together? Things happen and while they do, we find ourselves perplex, and frustrated because this is not how we planned “IT”, yet once we reach that point in what was then only a foggy, hazy and uncertain future, pieces of the puzzle seem to fall into place. We realise why things happened the way they did. We were meant to meet that day on the sidewalk, and I was meant to come close to you and ask you questions that you happily answered! We were meant to know each other for years yet never really hit it of because we had nothing in common then, while now we re practically twins. You were meant to miss that flight so you could be my friend! 

People we meet, yet we have no clue how much wisdom, love, and maturity, they will bring into our lives. We think to ourselves: “Oh what a lovely coincidence!” But is it really? 

You always have a choice of who you invite to your life. My mom used to say: “You are what your friends are”. I never agreed with that. Well at least until recently. 

I have always been surrounded by awesome females. And I really cherish the fact that as I have gotten older, I have been able to meet even more awesome women, that have brought some wonderful things in my life! I definitely learned to embrace the uniqueness of each and every female friend I have. It’s like each woman I am friends with, plays a distinct role in my life in her own way. This somehow polishes the rustic old parts of me, and brings them back to life in a harmoniously crazy way!  

Sometime in life, when you no longer listen to that awfully loud voice in your head, that says: “You know it all”, and when you reach that point when you think that life is much more than what you have thought of it; You then start surrounding yourself with only people who bring new meanings to your life. When you can peel those old grey layers of insecurity, selfishness, and self-centredness; and see clearly who you are! When you can do that in front of those people, because you know you can. That’s when fate is no longer a mastermind, and nothing but a tool. Those people were supposed to be there and then. They were supposed to be there FOR YOU! 

You need someone to hold your hand and tell you: ” You can do it!”. You need someone who will encourage you to face your demons! Someone who can look you in the eyes and say: ” It will be Okay!”. Someone you once met at the grocery store and never knew that one day they will become your “BFF”. Someone with whom now you can have life lessons over some frozen yogurt and popcorn! 

My heart and my arms are always wide open, welcoming whoever fate will seem to be bringing in my life. I will smile and wink at it, because now I know the secrete! They come because we need them to do, because they have a purpose in our life. A purpose that even we don’t know about yet! 

Ouiam

Happy Reading: Hello October!

  
This last week has been a hectic one, from planning meet-ups with the moms, to planning an even bigger event (which I will talk about very soon). Of course let’s not forget to add to that pile, my little bundle of joy, who is not so little anymore. Who now gets to choose what to eat, wear, or do! And try reasoning with a soon to be 20months old toddler (Warning!! Not a good idea lol). With that said, I have to admit that my last month’s list of books was a terrific one! The books were so informative and managed, each time I opened them, to transport me to a world that was calm, serene, and full of life at the same time. I really recommend reading them all!! 

1- The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy. This book was recommended to me by a good friend, whose opinion I highly trust. So even though it was a self-help book, and I don’t usually like these kind of books -because they only talk about the problem yet never give solid solutions as the book cover always claims- I still looked it up on google. The reviews were really encouraging, so I looked it up in the Kindle store, I could’t find it! So I ordered it online and was extremely delighted when it was delivered to my door step! The book is absolutely incredible. It is full of great ideas and advices on how to improve your life just by making small changes everyday! 

2- Maybe Someday by Colleen Hoover. If you feel like leaving your house and taking a mini break, then this book is for you! It is a novel that will make you laugh, cry, sing, and even more! I connected with Sidney, Ridge, Maggie….etc. When I finished it, I was absolutely devastated because I wanted more! 

3- The Rational Optimist: How Prosperity Evolves, by Mat Ridley. I started this book skeptical because economy is in no way my cup of tea. However, and after just few pages, I started devouring it like a beautiful piece of red velvet cake! The book talks about how even though life is getting better, the world is far from being perfect! The population, the poverty, the internet…etc. 

I hope you enjoy these books as much As I did! Happy reading….! 

Ouiam