Forgive But Never Forget …. Really?

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Forgive But Never Forget..! How many times have you heard this sentence before? Probably a lot, I heard it too, yet it never really made its way to my brain (or heart), it always just echoed in the background, so hallow, and weak. To me, it sounds more like Chinese, (hmm probably a bad example since I actually do speak Chinese, but you know what I mean right?). How can you ever forgive, without forgetting the harm done and moving on? This is impossible. It is not just about pressing the delete button, it is also a great and meaningful experience, that you need to live fully and truly understand every aspect of it, (and of your way of dealing with it of course), so that you can successfully move on. You need to be able to look in the mirror, look into your soul through your eyes, and see that you no longer harbor any anger or hard feelings anymore. You need to remember all the wrong that has been done to you, and yet be able to rise above and truly forgive, because only then, you will set yourself free and be able to live life again, the way you did before and not imprisoned by your own anger! Now, that is the tricky part! Doing that is no piece of cake; it is about the hardest thing that you will ever have to do! Especially, if you obsess about things, like I do! Believe me it will drive you crazy. I would say the key to doing that is: Time! Give yourself time to accept the facts, give yourself time to actually be able to remove yourself from the situation and judge wisely, understand where the other person is coming from; yes it is easier said than done, but really, time does manage to dissipate the anger that usually blocks us from seeing the whole picture. Time will give you clarity and empowers positive thoughts. In some particular situations though, you will not have the luxury of time, the people around you will try to push and push you even more, of course with only the best intentions in mind, but what they don’t know is that they are actually pushing you in the opposite direction, they are doing more harm than good, so that’s when you should set your ground rules! Only you and your feelings matter here! You do what makes YOU happy and comfortable! There is nothing wrong with being an emotional person, it sure does have its downfalls, like worrying or thinking too much about feelings, but at the same time, it is great to be passionate about everything and most importantly, about how YOU feel! I sure can relate to this, and I think so many of you can too! Holding into negative feelings, will not make you feel any better, instead it will completely hold you back, while forgiving AND FORGETTING will bring you an immediate release. I am definitely not trying to be mother Theresa here, and I am most certainly still learning everyday how to deal with situations like these, but so far this is what has worked for me, and it has enabled me to live in the present and be free.  Forgiving without forgetting is just like closing your eyes but still wanting to see! One cannot work without the other! And one thing is for sure, until you forget, you will never forgive.

So yeah! I don’t believe anyone can forgive without forgetting, how about you? What do you think? Feel free to share your opinion with all of us!

Ouiam

4 thoughts on “Forgive But Never Forget …. Really?

  1. Great post!
    Personally i mostly forget the next day if its silly or not important , i forgive the following seconds after a sincere apology or if i know its not mean to be

    i cry instantly if i m hurt by someone close.. i m a very emotional person, can stay up all night thinking about something someone said or something i v regret to say to someone and sometimes i just wish i wasnt so freaky emotional and be loooose because my face is an open book to aaalll my emotions, and u can immediatly know my true feelings by a simple look.
    I truly believe that forgiving is a way to forget the bad part, move on and prove how much u care to keep going a relation.. nobody s perfect we all do mistakes we just have to choose rather or not to see the bright side of each of us .

    Like

    • So true! Nobody is perfect! And one of our many weaknesses is our feelings! We can’t control them! But the fact that we care and are willing to go the extra mile to do what’s right is all what matters, i guess..! Xx

      Like

  2. Stef says:

    Thai people are very much into a “let go” type of attitude and I am trying to learn it but it is not always very easy to apply it. Over the years I personally learned that I cannot be liked by every single person that I meet, and I cannot like them all in reverse, and I started becoming very selective with my friendships. Therefore forgiving and forgetting may only apply to the closest people of my life. Regarding the rest, those who may not like me or hurt me, I like to think that the “let go” type of attitude would probably work best and this is what I personally would tend to do. In Italy we say “A few people, but good people” and I very much agree with it 😉 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    • I totally agree with you Stef! I also think that with time you get wiser, and kind of crack some kind of codes, you begin to see more clearly. I am like you now, i have very very few friends and loved ones that i care a lot about and would def. go through the the difficult path of forgiving and forgetting, but with everyone else it is more of “who cares” lol! I agree with the Italian saying too!!

      Like

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