If you didn’t know how old you were, how old would you think you were??? I probably would think i was 32! (I am actually 29).If you asked me last year, or the year before it, I would have definitely said 18!! When people say age is just a number, I totally disagree and think it is plain nonsense! Age is experiences, tornadoes, springs and falls! Smiles and tears gathered to shape your life forever! It is ups and downs, failures-lots of them- It is moments when you think you’ve nailed it and others when you sink into your own misery! So how can all that be as simple as a number! Few weeks ago, I celebrated my 29th birthday! The same day my Taichi master, wisely commented that my face looked very young whereas my eyes screamed wisdom and old age! She saw it as the result of being a mom! Myself, i think in the last year i have grown in so many ways, that I no longer wanted to be 18, 22 or even 29! I wanted to be old and wise and have few more grey hairs! This came to my own surprise, because I have never wished to be older! I always wanted to be younger and even at 22 I felt already old! Too old to be the silly little girl I was and still is! The thing about growing up, is that although we look back with a faint smile and probably some shy tears, to the old us, the old memories, and always say: “Yup! those were the best days of my life”, we still somehow believe that the best is yet to come! With time, we get better at growing up, at being ourselves, at being in our own skin, even if that skin is getting wrinkly and old!
After retiring from being a teacher, my mother decided that she wanted to do more, and she did it! She pursued her PhD in Islamic Studies, a subject she was always fond of. She never complained that she was old or that she hated aging! To me she always appeared to be in her forties! She seems to get better with age. With every passing year, she seems to be a little closer to the woman she wants to be! That is how I want to do it! I am now closer to my thirties than I was last year! And just the thought of it, fills me with excitement and anticipation. What will this new decade bring into my life? More wisdom? More knowledge? More laughs and more tears? More grey hairs and maybe even more babies?! Who knows?
We open magazines and we see gorgeous, young, skinny, beautiful girls, in bikinis, a glowing skin and a perfect body shape, and we decide- or we let them decide for us- that that is the norm! Every woman should always look young, pretty, skinny. Basically, a woman should never age! So we fight our own bodies and minds and we get ourselves into a constant battle to reach to the norm! We get irritated at each birthday because it can only mean a step closer to being out of the norm! We are forced to believe that better is young! But somehow we all know –in the deepest parts of our beings- that better is actually NOW! Wherever we are, at any stage, we all know that we are NOW our finest selves!
So again, how old are you really? Forget about the aching knees and the grey hairs, forget about the young face and the beautiful skin. Isolate yourself from all these stuff, and tell me how old you really are??? How old you think you are?