Few days ago, my little one was down with a flue, so you can imagine the kind of days we were having. I was completely drained, physically and emotionally. Physically because of the sleepless nights and emotionally because I could see what my little baby was going through and I could do nothing to help him! So right in the middle of all this craziness, I received a text message from a very sweet lady, whom I have met few weeks ago, and we instantly clicked (she is a great mama of 2) she was asking about Adam and checking if I needed anything. This one single text message brought tears to my eyes. It felt wonderful to know that there is someone out there, a friend -even if we met not that long ago- who has got my back. This got me to think about the very precious people I have in my life, to whom I am insanely grateful in so many levels.
When you become a mother, relationships in your life change, it is simply impossible to keep the same kind of life you had before, specifically when it comes to friends. You no longer have an hour to spare with them on the phone, you no longer can visit as often as you did, you can no longer follow their news as you once did. You cannot do any of that anymore, you no longer have the time for it, and even if you do, you now have a cascading “to do list “that never ends.
If you are fortunate enough, you will be blessed with some close friends, who you will always be in touch with, whether with text messages or phone calls. Then there are those other friends, who you might not talk to every week or even every month, but there is never weirdness, you pick up right where you left. Because you both know how hectic life can be however they are always there for you whenever you need them.
Our conception of friendship grows and evolves as we grow, the kind of friendship I had a decade ago (or even 5 years ago), is not what I have now, It is not what I look for now when in the hunt for new friends. My life has changed drastically and with these life changes, my friendships have changed and in turn, became redefined. This was not an easy thing for me to understand, I used to feel guilty that I am no longer a great friend, I used to even feel sad and disconnected from the people I love, luckily, I was changing too, I was slowly yet steadily getting the bigger picture. I accepted that this is my life right now a busy hectic but a happy life; I accepted that as we grow, an infinite amount of things change, within us and with the kind of life we lead.
Quality over quantity, I think this is the secrete to having great friends, in the obvious way: 1 great friend is better than 5 not-so great ones; as well as in the time spent together.
Now at 28 years old, I am happy with the few close friends I have. Real friends, with whom I can be 100% myself. With whom I can be me, the always chatty, the incredibly emotional, the occasionally moody, the mother, the woman and the little girl. And they can too. We never judge each other, we are all different, we think in different ways, we live our lives in different ways, we love and show our love in different ways, it is not a must to always understand these ways yet we always accept them, we accept each other just the way we are.
Friends are our chosen family, sometimes and at certain occasions, they are our only family. I am blessed to have a small handful of real friends whom I intend to keep around for a very long time.